Prologue

Paul Gatlin frowned as he laid the telephone back in the cradle, refusing to leave yet another message. He had been trying for nearly a week to arrange a meeting with his friend and superior, Mike Deatrich, but his messages had thus far gone unanswered much to his chagrin. Sighing softly, he gazed down at the notes he had scribbled earlier on a piece of paper, knowing that they would make little sense to anyone else as they leaned more towards senseless ramblings as he had struggled to understand what had indeed occurred on his last assignment.

Though things in the case of Douglas McArthur had been resolved in the end, there were still things that didn’t sit well with the FBI agent. He had been protecting a witness, but not just any witness; a witness he had fallen in love with and a witness he had more recently found out was an angel, as was his former partner. To say it had been a shock would have been an understatement and a part of him was still trying to come to terms with it though a small part of him still felt as if Andrew’s revelation to him had the impact of being side swiped by a small truck. He was still struggling with his feelings for the Irish angel, not quite able to resolve them as of yet and he was loath to admit that he found himself missing her terribly. Even now that he was back at his farm, the place seemed empty and quiet without the sound of her laughter, her voice or even her smile.

He shook his head, trying to rid his mind of his thoughts, knowing that they surely were being looked upon as impure given her angelic status, and he glanced once again at the paper before him. McArthur had found them much too easily and not just once, but three times, and those facts alone indicated a leak in department security. When signs of McArthur had shown up at the safe house and he and Andrew had moved Monica to the ranch on the other side of the country, they had changed all security, and still the murderer had shown up within days. Although Mike had promised him a meeting, his friend had yet to secure a time and place and though Paul knew he had to be inundated with work, he was still a bit surprised that Mike had yet to return his call.

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft mew, as Sam leapt up onto the desk, clearly demanding attention and the agent smiled as he stroked the kitten that he still referred to as Monica’s. In his mind, he was simply looking after Sam and his three siblings for the angel for as long as that might be, though he had to admit he was constantly amused by their antics and they were rather good company. He had briefly wondered why he hadn’t noticed them as much before, but he surmised that was because his attention had been much more focused on their foster mother and keeping her safe.

“You cannot possibly be hungry,” He mused to the kitten as Sam sat down on the desk to peer up at him through green eyes as he let out a pitiful mew, “Missing your mama, huh?” He asked, his thought returning once again to the angel as he wondered how she was coping after her ordeal, “I understand, buddy. I miss her too.”

*****

The solitary figure wandered aimlessly down the dock to the lake, trying to allow the sounds of the crickets to soothe her soul, but not even their music seemed to be able to bring any peace to her heart. This was the second night in a row that sleep had escaped her even as she was struggling to escape all that had happened over the last few weeks. Andrew had left on assignment two days ago and Tess had been in and out between working and checking up on her, and the little angel hated to admit that being alone was no longer something she enjoyed, even for small periods of time. She knew that God was always with her and while that did bring her comfort, she longed for the physical comfort of her friends and the reassurances that she was safe and that there was still goodness in a world that she had come to fear.

The nightmare of the past weeks had metamorphosed into nightmares that invaded her sleep as images of McArthur, holding a gun to her head, his hot breath against her cheek, and his eyes, the eyes devoid of all emotion played over and over again in her dreams. His eyes haunted her; both in and out of sleep, and nothing could shake the image of them from her mind. Even standing out here, with no other houses in sight, the angel felt afraid, as if something or someone would suddenly spring forth from the woods, intent upon doing her harm and no amount of trying to tell herself that those fears were unwarranted seemed to help. They still existed, just as evil did, and nothing could change that fact.

Monica rubbed her eyes wearily as she drew in a trembling breath, fighting tears of exhaustion and frustration as she offered up a quiet prayer, “Please, Father.”

Unseen by the little angel, Andrew appeared up the hill from where she stood, overlooking the lake. He had hurried back as quickly as he could, hating the fact that he had to leave her at all, even for a day or so. The days following McArthur’s death had left her quiet and on some level, withdrawn. Her smile was not as quick in coming anymore and her eyes had been holding a combination of fear and grief, each seeming to struggle for dominance of her emotions and his heart had nearly broken when he had been called away when she was so vulnerable.

He knew he had his own demons to deal with about what had happened and his realizations about himself, but he had managed to keep those at bay, pushing them aside constantly, only wanting to help his dearest friend in whatever way he could. Her pain was his pain, and even while on assignment he could sense the conflicting emotions and the nightmares that were overcoming her as he had longed to be back at her side.

Her arms were wrapped around her small body and he knew that yet another bad dream had driven her from her bed. The night air was slightly chilly and he slipped out of his jacket as he walked towards her, his footsteps silent as he approached. He purposefully stepped on a creaky board in the dock, wanting to make sure that she knew he was there so that he wouldn’t startle her.

“I felt you even when you were up on the hill,” she said quietly when he stepped up behind her.

He smiled briefly, loving the fact that they were so connected with one another, but hating the lost tone in her voice. “Here,” he said as he draped his jacket over her shoulders. “You shouldn’t be out without a robe or something. You’re practically shivering.”

She looked up gratefully. “Thank you. I guess I wasn’t thinking.” He still hadn’t wrapped his arms around her like he usually did, and she longed for that feeling, but she turned and looked back at the lake.

She didn’t want to ask him. She didn’t want to take any more from him than she already had. She knew how difficult it had been for him to leave on assignment, and the last thing he needed was to think that she couldn’t handle things without him by her side. Unfortunately that was very nearly how she felt.

“How did your assignment go?” she said instead.

“It went just fine,” he answered, “but I wished you were with me the whole time.” He reached out a tentative hand but quickly withdrew it. She was standing so straight and so still that he was afraid to touch her. It looked like she was expending all of her energy to hold herself together and he hated it.

“I… I’m not sure when I’ll be ready for that,” she said, looking down and studying her clasped hands.

The look on her face completely did him in, and he wasted no more time in pulling her close and wrapping his arms around her. She let out a sigh of relief as she nestled against his chest and he stroked his fingers through her hair and rested his chin.

“You’ll know when you’re ready,” he told her, “and so will the Father. You’re doing really well already. Just hang in there.”

“I wish I could just forget… forget any of it ever happened,” she murmured. “Sometimes I feel like he’s still out there… just waiting for me.”

“But he’s not, angel,” he reassured her. “He’s gone and you’re still here. Nothing can change that… not your nightmares, and not your bad feelings.” He held her a little tighter. “I just wish I could be here all the time to keep reminding you of that.”

“No,” she replied, “you have work to do, and you can’t be with me every second.” She gave a dry laugh, “Anyway you already did that for days on end… I would think you’d be glad for the break.”

“Nope. You’ll be surprised to know that I never require breaks from you,” he said, smiling. As a matter of fact he had to admit that he far preferred helping her than dealing with his own issues, He knew it wasn’t right, but that was how he felt.

“How long can you stay?” she asked, trying to keep the hopefulness from her voice. Tess had left early the previous morning and she really didn’t want to spend another day alone.

“I’m not sure, but I think I’m free for the next day anyway,” he could sense her relief and once again felt the twinges of anger run through him. “So, why don’t we get you back to bed so that you’ll be well rested? We can spend the day doing something fun… whatever you want.”

She smiled and took a step back, still keeping hold of his hand. “That sounds like a good idea. I think I’ll be able to sleep through the rest of the night now that you’re here.” The words escaped before she could stop them, and he saw the look in her eye that clearly said she hadn’t meant to let that out.

“It’s okay, Monica. I’m glad to be here,” he said, giving her hand a squeeze.

She still looked a bit ashamed, but they walked back to the house without comment. She knew that he was happy to help her… he showed that to her a million different ways. The problem was that she didn’t want him to think that he had to, and so far she wasn’t doing a very good job of proving that.

She was still struggling with that emotion as she sat down heavily on the edge of her bed and sensing the aura of sadness that surrounded his friend, Andrew took a seat next to her and waited for her to offer more as she stared down at her clasped hands. He could see the exhaustion etched into her delicate features and he so wished he could take it all away from her and restore for himself the vibrant angel she had been before all of this had begun. Maybe that was a purely selfish wish on his part, but he also knew it was something she longed for as well.

“I’m sorry,” She stated finally and simply, though he didn’t miss the tears she was holding back in her dark eyes.

“Angel, what on earth for? You have nothing to be sorry about-.”

“For putting pressure on you to be here for me and for feeling this way in the first place. It’s over and it should feel like it’s over. I’m the one who can’t seem to put it behind me,” She whispered dejectedly, her downward gaze broken by Andrew’s hand cupping her chin and turning her head towards him.

“It’s obvious that you need to hear a few things and I’m very glad that I am here to hopefully set you straight,” He began, a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes on his face,

“You are the only one trying to dictate how you should be feeling, Monica. There aren’t any rules here, angel or any set time for you to bounce back from the things that happened. That whole terrible situation would have a shaken a much more callus angel than you are, sweetheart, so cut yourself a break here and give yourself some time. There is no statute of limitations on recovering from something like this.”

Her eyes, glassy with tears, searched his as she voiced her fears, “What if I never recover?”

“You will,” He replied firmly, hoping she would catch some of his optimism, despite the fact that he too was worried about if she would ever again be the same, “And while we are at it, lets get one other thing straight between us as well. You are not putting any pressure on me to be here. I’m here because I want to be and because I love you and want to be able to help you. As much as I love doing the Father’s work, I don’t enjoy being pulled away from you ever and I don’t want you to feel guilty if you feel like you need me. Being with you, regardless of the circumstances is treasured time for me, angel.”

His words touching the depth of her heart, she felt herself giving into the tears, “I do need you, Andrew…I do…”

Folding her into his arms, the older angel held her to himself as she released what he knew was only a fraction of her pent up emotions. Though he hated to see her cry, what he hated even more was the anger that once again surged through him at the reason behind her tears. Though McArthur was dead, Andrew still felt hostility towards the man, and it was further laden with his own guilt over the satisfaction he felt over the death of one of God’s children. McArthur had deeply hurt someone Andrew loved, and dead or alive, the angel had yet to find it in himself to forgive him.

Burying her face in his chest, Monica struggled to slow her tears as she felt the soothing motion of his hand stroking her hair. She didn’t like feeling this way; this sinister feeling of evil being all around her, all the time, yet she couldn’t seem to control it. Even when she had been unable to see McArthur, she had known he was there, a constant torment and all she had done was to see something she wasn’t supposed to see.

She tried to recall the night when it had all first begun; the way she had been on Josh’s porch reveling in the sights, smells and sounds of the warm spring night. She had felt happy and content, at peace and she couldn’t help but to think that had Tommy, the paperboy not come so late that night, she would still be retaining those feelings now. It wasn’t that she blamed Tommy, but the fact that something so simple had changed so much and had sealed her fate for the next several weeks, left her breathless. Had the paper never come, she would have simply gone and moved onto her next assignment and the evil, which she had always known existed, would not have descended upon her personally, leaving her feeling afraid of all the world had to offer.

Finally managing to pull herself together somewhat, she pulled back slightly, but never completely released her hold on her friend, as she felt him swiping at the tears on her cheeks,

“Thank you for being here.”

“You’re welcome,” He replied warmly, once again pushing aside his emotions for her benefit, determined to focus only on finding her smile once again, “Come on, you need to sleep, angel,” He waited until she had snuggled under the blankets, noting how the night was warm, but her hands still felt so cold, before he drew the blanket up snugly around her. He could clearly see her gratitude and relief that he was there and leaning down, he planted a tender kiss on her forehead, “Tomorrow is going to be a good day, Angel Girl. I will see to it personally.”

She nodded her head as she scootched over to make room for him and much like the night McArthur had found her at the safe house, he sat up in the bed beside of her as she moved to rest her head against his shoulder, her arm encircling him as her eyes closed in utter exhaustion.

Andrew watched her sleep for a long time as he offered up silent prayers for them both, before he as well, drifted off into a light sleep, determined to wake up quickly if any harm came to the little angel in his arms, even if it was in the form of a dream.

*****

“Mike, it’s Paul. I’ve been trying to reach you for days now,” The agent somehow managed to keep most of the annoyance from his voice as he finally reached his friend. He had elected to call early that morning, in the hopes of catching Mike before he headed off to countless meetings and Paul’s perseverance had finally paid off.

“I know, buddy, and I’m sorry,” Mike sounded more than slightly apologetic, despite the fact that he seemed rushed, “Things have been hellish around here.”

“Understood, but we really need to talk. We’ve got internal problems somewhere in the agency and we need to get to the bottom of them as quickly as possible. I was seconds away from losing my last witness and that cannot happen again,” Okay, so that wasn’t entirely true as he doubted that an angel would have died even at the hands of a merciless killer, but that was one thing he was not willing to share with his friend.

“Agreed,” Mike replied, the sound of pages turning coming through on the phone, “How about Friday? Say, 1:15 at O’Reilly’s Pub?”

Paul jotted down the information as he affirmed the plans, “That sounds good to me. I want to go over the entire case with you as something went desperately wrong somewhere. I’ve protected witnesses for up to a year or longer before and they have never been found and for Monica to have been found three times in a matter of weeks…it just doesn’t make sense. Not even McArthur has that kind of luck.”

“No, something definitely sounds amiss. Listen, buddy, I need to run, but I’ll see you on Friday. You’ll be flying in, I assume?”

“Thursday night,” Paul confirmed, grateful for another two days of peace and quiet here on the farm before the reality of work would once again set in as he was still trying to digest this last case and the light show that had gone along with it.

“I’ll catch you then.”

As Paul hung up the telephone, he breathed a sigh of relief. Now at least he could center his sights on where in the agency this leak lay, so it could be repaired once and for all.

Chapter 1

When Andrew woke the next morning it was to the sunshine on his face. He blinked a few times before fully opening his eyes and looking outside. It looked like the Father was granting them a beautiful day and he was grateful. He knew that he would probably have another assignment before very long and he wanted Monica to have a good day to look back on after he left.

What he was really hoping was that Monica would soon be feeling up to taking on some assignments of her own. He missed the camaraderie of the two of them and Tess all working as a team, and, more importantly, he missed the look in the Irish angel’s eyes after a successful day’s work. Rushing her obviously wasn’t the answer, but he really felt that perhaps work was exactly what she needed; a chance to help the people she had always loved, and remember exactly why she loved them.

The sun rose a fraction higher and sent light splaying across the bedroom and sparkling through the little crystal that hung in the window. Instantly a hundred little rainbows spread out along the walls and Andrew smiled as he gently nudged the angel in his arms.

“Wake up, Monica,” he whispered. “It looks like this day was made just for you.”

She wearily opened her eyes, but was surprised to discover that as soon as she did so the bone-deep exhaustion which had been her constant companion since returning to earth, had vanished. She looked around the room at the sparkling colored light and then met Andrew’s eyes with her own.

“I think you could be right,” she said with a smile. “I may be feeling a little lost lately, but I know a sign when I see one.”

Andrew chuckled and carefully got out of the bed. “Yeah, I don’t remember that crystal being there when we went to sleep.”

“That’s because it wasn’t,” she grinned. “Thank you for the wake-up call, Father,” she said softly.

“I’m going to hop into the shower and then I’ll meet you downstairs,” he said. “Remember, today is yours… whatever you want to do.”

“Hmmm… Even shopping?” she teased.

A wide smile crossed Andrew’s features. He knew that she was referring to their day-long outing with Paul, and he couldn’t have been happier that she was able to remember at least part of their time with happiness.

“For you, I would even endure that.”

*****

Andrew was downstairs and in the midst of making coffee when he felt Tess enter the room. He turned around to welcome her, glad that she was going to be around to spend the day with them. It would really make it feel like old times, and that was exactly what Monica needed. The look on the older angel’s face, however, told him that this was not a courtesy call.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, dreading the answer.

Tess didn’t look any happier about being the bearer of bad news, but unfortunately she didn’t have much of a choice. “Monica’s time here is nearly over,” she told him.

“Over? What do you mean? The Father’s taking her Home again?” Andrew’s face showed his surprise and uncertainty.

“No, not Home, Angel Boy.” Tess took a deep breath before continuing. “She’s getting an assignment. It starts tomorrow.”

“What?” Andrew was astounded by the news.

Surely the Father knew best, but he had just spent a restless night with the little angel. She hardly seemed able to bear being down on earth by herself and he couldn’t imagine her surrounded by strangers. He had been thinking that an assignment would do her some good, but he certainly hadn’t thought about it starting so soon.

“I thought that you might want to be the one to tell her,” Tess said. “I was here just yesterday morning and she was talking like she never wanted to go back to work, but I think that in the long run, this is exactly what she needs.”

“What she needs?” Andrew repeated. “She still isn’t even sleeping through the night. I don’t know how she’s going to manage an assignment.”

“I know it may seem that way, baby,” Tess said, “but you know that God works on his timetable, not ours, and if he thinks she’s ready then she’s ready.”

Andrew looked towards the doorway, as if expecting Monica to appear at any moment. “He knows that she’s ready, but she is going to take a bit more convincing.”

“And that’s why I’m telling you now… you’re a part of the convincing.”

The younger angel sighed and finished pouring the water into the coffeemaker. “I’ll do my best.”

Tess patted him on the shoulder. She knew this wasn’t easy for him either. It was difficult for her to see either of her babies hurting, and she was praying that the pain would end soon, for both of them.

“Are you going to spend the day here?” he asked after few moments of silence.

Tess shook her head and looked apologetic. “I wish I could, Andrew, but I’m in the middle of another assignment. Don’t you worry though… I’ll be around tonight to give Monica the official word, and then the three of us will have the night together before starting work tomorrow.”

The coffeemaker began its monotonous dripping, but Andrew’s eyes remained focused on it. He didn’t bother to remind Tess that the previous night had been somewhat less than restful. It seemed as if he was getting exactly what he wanted, but it was precisely what Monica was afraid of. He hoped that he would be given the right words to ease her into the idea before Tess arrived to make the announcement.

Tess observed him in silence for several moments before she spoke up once more, “I know this is hard, Angel Boy, for both of you, but the Father does know best, despite the fact that sometimes we question it.”

Tess’ admission of doubt caused him to turn around and their eyes met in understanding, just as she vanished from sight. At the very least, Andrew felt slightly better over the fact that Tess was also not completely convinced that Monica was ready to be off on her own on an assignment and for some reason, her remark seemed to justify his own feelings. But Andrew also knew that he had to once again place his own concerns aside in order to convince Monica that now was the right time to go back to work.

*****

Much to Andrew’s astonishment, the little angel had vetoed his suggestions to go riding or to go into town, but he supposed that when he really thought about it, he wasn’t really surprised, though he was still saddened by it. She had loved to ride, but he knew it would bring back unwanted memories that were still far too fresh as it was and going into town meant being around people she didn’t know and no longer trusted.

So she had elected for a simple walk through the woods, but even as they walked, she kept hold of his hand tightly, startling easily if so much as a rabbit suddenly scurried across their path, despite the fact that she would try to cover her alarm by emitting a rueful laugh. Over breakfast, she had been cheerful and Andrew had caught a brief glimpse of the angel she had once been, but as soon as they had stepped outdoors, her senses seemed to be on high alert and he had felt a tension come over her.

“It’s so peaceful out here,” He remarked once they had been walking for some time, as his eyes took in the forest that was decorated in God’s own hues of green, with flowers bursting forth from shrubs and trees now that spring was well underway.

“Mmm,” Monica nodded her head, wishing she felt as convinced, but she wasn’t at all certain that there would ever again be anyplace on earth that allowed her to feel peace as Douglas McArthur had invaded some magnificent settings over the last few weeks. Yes, he was dead, but how many more humans were out there just like him?

Though he had been hoping and praying for a perfect moment in which to approach her with going back to work, Andrew had a feeling that moment was not going to present itself, so noticing a small, running stream ahead of them, he led her to it, so that they could take a seat on the fallen tree that stretched out before it. He watched as she turned concerned eyes to him as he struggled for the right words to lead into this gently.

“Angel,” He began, reaching for her hand once more and holding it tightly in his own, “You do understand that you are going to have to return to work at some point.”

She looked startled by this statement and pondered where it was coming from, “I know, but I’m not ready yet, Andrew.”

He lowered his eyes for a moment, before raising them once again to look into her own, “I’m not convinced of that either, but the Father knows otherwise.”

His words felt like a blow to her stomach as she stared at him in disbelief, her lips only able to form a single word, “When?”

“Tomorrow, Monica. Tess will be at the house later tonight to give you the specifics,” He explained, hating the betrayed expression on her face, though he knew it wasn’t meant for him, though he detested it even more when she looked away and nodded her head. She was struggling to accept this and she was failing miserably, “It could be the best thing for you, angel,” He offered, hoping she would latch onto his optimism, even if his own words felt forced.

“It hasn’t even been a week yet, Andrew,” Her tone was accusing and he knew it was directed at the heavens, “How could he ask this of me so soon?”

“Because he knows you better than you know yourself, Angel Girl,” Andrew replied patiently, his heart aching at her obvious distress.

“I don’t know if I can do this…”

“Yes, you can,” He interrupted, lifting her chin so he could see into her dark eyes, “You’ve always been able to do this, Monica, and it’s always been something you’ve loved doing.”

“That was before I saw Josh murdered,” She stated shakily, images of that night flashing through her mind even as she willed them to go away.

“He can’t hurt you anymore, angel,” Andrew argued gently, longing to wrap his arms around her, but she seemed so emotionally fragile at the moment that he was afraid to.

“Maybe not, but he had help. Humans who were supposed to be on my side were helping him, so how I can trust any of them anymore? Even the ones who are supposed to be good, aren’t.”

Her words left him flabbergasted for more than one reason. He had no idea that she had picked up on the fact that McArthur had to have had help in finding her on three separate occasions, as he and Paul had kept that to themselves or so he had thought. But even through all her fear during those weeks, she had realized the man hadn’t been acting alone and Andrew could only wonder if she had realized it then, or only now in retrospect.

The other thing that left him feeling more than shocked was her sudden ability to take a few of God’s wayward children and project that image onto all humans, which only further cemented his knowledge that the entire ordeal had left her feeling vulnerable and mistrusting having never had encountered this before. She seemed somewhat able to accept why McArthur had wanted to hurt her, but whatever the issues within the FBI were; she had been betrayed by those who were supposed to keep her safe. Add to that the horrific images of death she had witnessed and it was no wonder that the thought of going back to work was being met with such resistance. But Tess had asked him to help convince her and regardless of his own opinions right now, he needed to try to do that.

“The only one you need to trust, Monica, is God,” He replied finally, “And while there are others out there like McArthur, there are also those out there like Paul.”

She ducked her head once more, feeling ashamed and longing to change how she felt, “You’re right,” She said after a moment, though he had a feeling those two words were for his benefit, “Maybe I’m just feeling sorry for myself…”

“That is absolutely not true, Monica,” Andrew stated adamantly with a firm shake of his head, “You have never been an angel for self pity and this has nothing to do with that. You were placed in a situation that you were unprepared to deal with-.”

“I placed myself in that situation, Andrew,” She disagreed, once again struggling with her emotions, “I had accepted the fact that I had seen what I did in order to be able to testify, but that never happened. Instead he found me and died, but not before changing who I am…and who you are.”

For the second time in a matter of minutes, she had divulged information that rendered him temporarily speechless and all he could do was wonder what else she had figured out lately.

“I know you wanted to kill him yourself and I know that is tearing you up inside,” The Irish angel stated sadly, “I’m just thankful that Paul beat you to it though neither one of us can deny that we aren’t sorry he is dead.” She rose to her feet, blinking back tears and no longer able to bear this conversation, “If it’s all right with you, I’d just as soon head back. I don’t much feel like being out here any longer.”

Andrew followed her as she made her way back to the house, but he walked slowly, recognizing that she needed some time to try to sort things out in her mind. He shoved his hands into his pockets and angrily kicked a pinecone down the path.

“Well that could have gone better,” he muttered.

He couldn’t blame her for her reaction, especially given his own feelings about the situation. The thing that had him most unsettled was the fact that she had so easily pinpointed what he had tried to push aside and ignore. His feelings about McArthur were the furthest things from angelic and he wasn’t sure how to resolve the conflict that existed in the darkest corner of his heart. He only knew that the last thing he had wanted was for Monica to know about it, much less feel responsible for it.

He gave the pinecone another kick and started walking a bit faster again. Monica had long since disappeared from sight, and although he knew she was perfectly safe, he didn’t want to be separated from her for long. They still had the rest of the day to enjoy and he hoped that he would be able to take her mind off what was to come.

“Monica?” he called as he stepped through the door ten minutes later. When she didn’t immediately reply his heart began to pound just a bit harder and he knew that she wasn’t the only one who still needed to overcome past fears.

“I’m in the kitchen,” she finally replied, and he let out a breath and followed the sound of her voice.

He swung the kitchen door open and was greeted by the sight of the little angel standing by the counter surrounded by bread, and sandwich fixings. Lucy was rubbing herself against the Irish angel’s leg, and purring contentedly. The scene brought a smile to his face and he bent down to scoop the kitten up, gently giving it a kiss on the nose.

“I thought I’d make us some lunch,” she said as he stood up. “Don’t worry… nothing that I had a chance of burning.” A quick smile brightened her face and he returned it with one of his own.

“I think you need to give yourself another chance at real cooking,” he said. “After all, I think there were extenuating circumstances last time.”

“Extenuating circumstances?”

“Yes… you were trying to cook too many things at the same time. Next time you need to start with just one.”

“Okay… but I’m warning you now. I will expect you to eat whatever I cook.”

“I think I can manage that.”

There was silence for a few moments as Monica finished making the sandwiches and carefully cutting them in half. Then each half had to be perfectly arranged on the plates and a small pile of chips placed between the halves. She didn’t even seem to notice how meticulous she was being, but Andrew did. A puzzled expression appeared on his face but he hid it when she looked up and smiled brightly, pushing his plate towards him.

They automatically headed for the deck with their food. Andrew knew that Monica hated being inside, and he was in complete agreement. The sun was directly overhead and, but the deck was shaded by a large spreading oak tree which cast a mosaic of dappling shadows over the table. Monica still hadn’t said anything more about the coming assignment, but Andrew wasn’t about to break their pleasant silence.

“I’m sorry I just left you out there,” she said at last as she pushed her half-eaten plate of food away.

“Don’t worry about it, Monica,” he said, wishing that she had finished her meal. “I’m sorry I had to tell you.”

“I guess Tess came by this morning after all.”

“Yes. She wanted to stay but she had to finish up another assignment.”

Monica nodded in understanding. “She’s been in and out. The Father’s keeping her pretty busy.”

“I suppose you’ve enjoyed having some time to yourself for a change.”

“Not really,” she murmured and he had to strain to hear. She looked up suddenly. “Let’s go for that ride after all. We don’t know when we’ll get another chance.”

“Monica,” he stopped her as she was about to rush off. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I just don’t want to waste time… last day and all…”

He grabbed her hand and held it as she seemed about ready to run away. “I thought you didn’t want to ride?”

“I changed my mind. It’s a woman angel’s prerogative to change her mind,” she joked.

“Alright, whatever you want,” he agreed, knowing full well that it wasn’t a case of suddenly wanting to ride, it was a case of suddenly not wanting to talk. However, pushing her very rarely worked in the best of circumstances, and in her current state of mind he was afraid it would just push her straight back into the shell she seemed to be starting to emerge from.

Chapter 2

Tess had left them her car, so it wasn’t long before the two angels had driven to the stables, had mounted their horses, and had set off down the trail. Andrew struggled to keep his frustration at bay, but Monica had said very little on the ride here, other than an occasional remark about looking forward to a ride, but it had sounded forced at best and he had a feeling that she was no more looking forward to a ride than she was going back to work tomorrow. She was trying to run away from all she was harboring in her heart and the older angel knew that there was no way she could run fast enough or hard enough to escape those things.

They rode in silence and he allowed her to take the lead, though his eyes never moved from her small figure as he was unable to shake the feeling of dread that had suddenly come over him though he was unable to place exactly where the feeling had come from. Andrew assumed it could simply be coming from her heart as he had no other explanation for it and she certainly wasn’t offering any at the moment.

Monica was far too occupied trying to force herself to remain calm to notice the distress of her best friend, as she struggled to focus her sights on the beauty that surrounded her, but her perception seemed more than slightly skewed at the moment. Though the trees formed a canopy of shade against the mid-afternoon sun, to her they only seemed to make the woods appear dark and ominous and she urged her steed onward a bit faster.

Before long, the forest gave way to large meadow and for a brief moment, the little angel felt relief at the feeling of the sunshine on her face, however the feeling only lasted until she was about halfway through the clearing. A sense of foreboding passed over her as she found herself out in the open, the woods no longer acting as a shield around her as the unwanted images of her nightmares flashed through her mind. She suddenly felt as if she were too easy a target and she could almost hear Paul’s warnings in her head as she pulled her steed to a dead halt. Her sudden panic caused all other sounds to cease other than the drumming in her ears and the sound of her own frantic breaths which blocked out sounds of birds or even the breeze that had been floating through the air only moments before, which now caused her long auburn hair to blow around her face, temporarily blinding her. Paul’s voice reminding her of not allowing it to wave around like a flag blocked out the sound of Andrew’s horse approaching her, as she found herself trembling.

Shocked to see the sudden paleness of her face and the way she was so still sitting on top of her horse, Andrew called out to her as he approached, “Angel, what is it? What’s the matter?” But his words sounded as if they were coming from the other end of a long tunnel to her.

In response, Monica urged the horse into a run as she turned him back to the woods, crouching low in the saddle. Her only thought was to escape and to get back to safety, wherever that might be and fear overrode her common sense as she never allowed the horse to slow down upon entering the woods.

Completely unsure of what had just happened, Andrew took off after her, his own heart pounding in his chest, “Monica, slow down,” but his words to her heart went unheeded and he was unable to catch up to her until she was already back at the stables.

Monica had already dismounted as he entered, his face a mask of worry and concern as he climbed down from his horse and turned to her, though her back was to him, “Monica, that was downright dangerous!” His words held a trace of anger that was fueled by his distress, but she never turned around to face him.

He approached her and saw her trying to unbuckle the girth and remove the saddle, but her hands were shaking so badly that they kept slipping, “Monica, stop. Just stop,” He placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him, his eyes widening at the tears that shimmered in her eyes, “Baby, what is it?” He was almost pleading, her distress so apparent it scared him.

“Can we just go, please? I just want to go…” She whimpered softly, unable to meet his eyes.

He looked around and saw the stable hand nod to indicate that he would take care of the horses, and Andrew wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led her outside to the car. He opened the door for her and guided her in with his hand to the small of her back, before he closed the door and got into the driver’s seat. Starting the car, he turned to face her once more and reached for her hand, “Angel, what is it? Please tell me.”

But she shook her head, not even knowing how to explain what had happened as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes, willing her heart back to a normal rhythm, “I don’t know. Please, just take me back.”

Nodding his head, knowing he wasn’t going to get any answers right now, Andrew pulled the car off the dirt path and back onto the road, though he kept one hand firmly wrapped around hers.

*****

Upon returning back to the house, Monica murmured something about needing a nap before she headed into her room, closing the door firmly behind her after Lucy followed her into the room and the little angel was still absent when Tess showed up just after 5:00.

She immediately noticed the pensive expression on Andrew’s face as he turned from facing out the window, “I may be going out on a limb here, baby, but I’m getting the feeling things did not go well today.”

Andrew was quiet for a moment, contemplating his response as he walked away from the window and sank down onto the sofa, “She isn’t ready for this, Tess. There is no way she could possibly be ready for this.”

Tess sighed heavily as she sat down beside of him and met her eyes with his, clearly seeing his concern, “Andrew, she doesn’t have much of a choice. What happened?”

“We went riding and suddenly she…I don’t even know, Tess, to be honest. All I know is that suddenly she was terrified, but she refused to talk to me about it.”

Tess could see the defeat that dimmed Andrew’s eyes and colored his words. “Do you want me to try to talk to her, Angel Boy?” she asked gently.

“I wish you would, Tess. Obviously she’s not in the mood to talk to me right now.”

The older angel reached out a hand to keep Andrew from saying any more. She knew that the angel wanted to believe that whatever problem Monica was having, he would be able to help her through it, and now he was feeling like his help had been rejected. However, she also knew that nothing could be further from the truth.

“She’s confused right now, baby, and she doesn’t want to drag you into that confusion with her. You know how she is. She’d do anything to protect you… just the way you’d do anything to protect her.”

“Yeah, I know,” he replied, thinking of how Monica had nearly allowed herself to be shot just to keep him and Paul safe. “Sometimes I wish she didn’t feel that way.”

“But then she wouldn’t be Monica,” Tess said with a knowing look. “I realize that you would like to corner the market on protectiveness, but it just so happens that there is a little Irish angel who is never going to allow that to happen.”

Andrew had to grin at Tess’ remarks. “You may be right about that.”

“Of course I’m right. I’ve been around a long time, Angel Boy… and don’t you forget it,” she said as she patted his knee. “Now I’m going upstairs to have a talk with her, and I think we’ll both be hungry by the time I come down, so you can work on making some dinner.”

“You wish is my command,” he chuckled.

“Hmph.… if only that were always true!”

*****

The knock on the door was soft, but insistent, and Monica had a feeling that it didn’t belong to Andrew.

“Come in,” she said, her voice barely able to make it through the thick door.

The sound of the angel’s voice was enough to let Tess know that this wasn’t going to be an easy conversation and she rolled her eyes skyward. “Any help you could lend would be much appreciated, Father,” she said, and then her hand was on the brass knob and she was pushing the door open.

“How are you doing, baby?” she asked, taking in Monica’s pale complexion and the listless way she stroked the little kitten on her lap.

“I’m fine, Tess,” she said, trying to push some enthusiasm into her voice and failing miserably.

“Andrew was concerned, Monica, and I have to say that you don’t look any better than you did the last time I saw you.”

“Well, maybe it takes more than a few days for me to feel better after having a gun at my head,” the Irish angel snapped, then looked mortified at what she had just said. Her hands flew to her mouth. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean that, Tess.”

“Yes you did,” Tess replied, “and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m the one who’s sorry… it was a thoughtless comment.”

“No… you’re right. I should be feeling better… and I just don’t know why I’m not,” she said, the helplessness clear in her voice. “I’ve tried to forget. I’ve tried to give it all over to God. I’ve even tried to find it in my heart to forgive Douglas McArthur. But nothing seems to help, Tess… nothing. I’m still just as scared as I was a week ago, and now I’m going to have to try to push it all away and go back to work. Why Tess? Why is He asking this of me?”

Tess hated to see the tears in her young charge’s eyes, and she quickly sat next to her on the bed and wrapped a motherly arm around her shoulders. “You know I can’t answer that question, Monica. I just know that He thinks you’re ready, and He has an assignment that only you can do.”

Monica shook her head and stood up, carefully depositing Lucy on the floor before heading to the window. “I don’t think I’ll be able to help anyone, Tess… and I’m so afraid that I’ll fail and let everyone down.”

“That will never happen. No matter what, you cannot disappoint any of us, much less God, as long as you do your best, the way you always, always have.”

“But I’m so scared, Tess…”

“I know you are, and I know it feels like you’ll never be safe again, but you know in your heart that isn’t true.” She moved to Monica’s side and held tightly to her hand. “Now you just have to believe it, and believe that the Father will be there for you, even when you are more scared than you have ever been. He’ll be right beside you, the way he always has been.”

“I’ll try, Tess. You know I’ll try.”

“Then you will succeed,” she said with a broad smile. “Now, let’s get downstairs and see what Andrew is making for dinner. He’ll be glad to see you out and about.”

Monica looked slightly shame-faced and her voice lowered. “I kind of ran away from him and hid up here,” she admitted. “I didn’t want him to have to hear this all again. It seems like all I’ve been doing with him is leaning on him.”

“Trust me, Monica… he never minds.”

“I know he doesn’t, Tess,” She replied with a weary sigh, “But I do. I’ve depended on him so much the last few weeks-.”

“And he wouldn’t have it any other way, baby, so don’t shut him out now. He has every intention of seeing you through this and I believe he would be sorely disappointed if he could not,” Tess advised her as she gave the youngest angel’s hand a squeeze as she led her out of the bedroom.

As they entered the kitchen, Andrew’s back was to them and he was preparing a salad and already the smell of lasagna was floating through the air as it simmered inside of the oven.

“It smells mighty good in here, Angel Boy,” Tess remarked and he turned around at the sound of her voice, prepared to ask how Monica was, before his gaze settled on his best friend.

“Thank you,” He replied, though it was Monica’s weary gaze he continued to hold, “It should be ready in about twenty minutes, so you two can go and relax.”

“I’m going to take you up on that, Andrew,” The supervisor smiled in his direction as she released the younger angel’s hand and prepared to head off to the living room, “Just give a yell when you’re ready for me.”

As Tess departed, Monica approached Andrew slowly as he stood at the counter and she peered up at him almost shyly, “Can I help? I promise not to burn anything.”

Smiling warmly at her, he set a few fresh vegetables in front of her, along with a knife, pleased when she smiled as his allowing her to assist him, despite her numerous failed attempts in the kitchen. They worked in amiable silence for a few moments, before the Irish angel spoke up softly.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” She stated simply as her eyes remained focused on the broccoli she was cutting into even pieces, taking care to make sure they were as close to the same size as possible.

“You don’t need to apologize,” He informed her, glancing over as she lined up the vegetables up on the cutting board. He was momentarily undecided about asking her about what had happened in the meadow, but on further contemplation, he knew that she had opened the door with her unwarranted apology, “Angel, what happened out there today?”

Monica fell silent once more, appearing to be concentrating on the task at hand, before she slowed down her chopping, though she never looked up at him, “I’m not exactly sure. I felt…exposed…too out in the open and I could almost hear Paul telling me that being in that meadow was making me too easy a target. It felt as if it were closing in on me all of a sudden…that I shouldn’t be there,” Her hands trembled slightly as she stopped cutting the broccoli for a moment as if to regroup, before she continued in action and words, “I’ve been feeling that way a lot lately.”

He felt his heart clench at her admission, but before he could comment, she began to speak once again, and he fell silent, wanting to know all that she was feeling and fearing.

“You said earlier that I must be enjoying time to myself, but I haven’t been. I hate being alone as it makes me feel afraid, but on the same token, I have no desire to be around strangers either. I’d rather just stay with you and Tess, which is why facing this assignment has been so difficult,” She swallowed hard, not wanting Tess to hear the things she was saying, but knowing she could confide them in Andrew, “I don’t want to do this, Andrew. I know that I have to, and I’ll do my best, but there is no part of me, not even a tiny part that feels ready to face this. I don’t feel in control of so much as my emotions right now. I can’t even help myself, so how am I supposed to help someone else?”

As he listened to her words, he began to understand much more than he had before. Not only her fears, but the meticulous way she was handling such simple things; it was all due to the fact that she was currently unable to put anything else in any semblance of order. Her world had spun out of control weeks ago and things she normally had control of, she had lost as he and Paul had struggled to keep her safe. Between their desire to protect her and McArthur’s desire to harm her, she had been completely stifled to the point that even walking out of doors had become a risk.

So now there was a struggle within her that she felt she could no longer control. The angel she had once been longed to be out in the world, helping the humans she had always loved, but the angel she now was had learned through being conditioned that being outside was something to fear, much like being alone was. Being alone had enable McArthur to catch her and coupled with that was the fact that others had betrayed her trust.

Though part of him longed to simply encourage her; to tell her she would find a way to help whoever her assignment turned out to be, she was being so honest with him that he felt as if he needed to do the same, “Truth be told, angel, I don’t think you are ready for this either, but what I think doesn’t hold a candle to what God thinks. What I do know is that I will be there for you as much as I possibly can be and that I will do all I can to alleviate your fears. Just don’t close yourself off to me, Monica, please?”

Laying down the knife, she looked up at him, brown eyes showing her uncertainty, “I hate to take more from you than I already have…”

“You have taken nothing from me that I haven’t freely given to you, sweetheart. I’m here for you because I want to be,” His voice was firm and even edged with sternness, as he didn’t want there to be any question in her mind about this much.

He watched as tears welled up in her eyes before she blinked them back as she nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak at that moment. Moving closer to her, he wrapped her up in his arms and held her tightly for a moment, “We’ll talk more later, all right? Dinner is about ready, so why don’t you go and find Tess.”

“All right,” She whispered, hating to leave the safe haven of his arms as she reluctantly pulled away and slowly walked out of the kitchen.

Watching her depart, Andrew offered up a silent prayer as he realized that he was even more worried about her now then he had been when McArthur had been trying to find her.

Chapter 3

“This looks delicious, Andrew,” Tess complimented as she sat down at the table just a few minutes later. “I think you’ve out done yourself.”

“Well, Monica helped,” he said with a wink.

“Andrew,” that angel chided him, “I cut vegetables… I don’t think that really counts.”

“Of course it counts… you risked your little fingers for me, after all.”

Monica couldn’t help but giggle, and the sound rang in the room like little bells. Andrew and Tess were both sure it was one of the best sounds they had heard in recent memory. Even Monica herself was surprised, and a shy smile turned up the corners of her mouth. Whatever good feelings she could manage, she was going to hold onto with both hands.

Dinner was very good, and afterwards the three of them moved into the living room and Andrew started a fire in the fireplace while Monica brought coffee and tea from the kitchen. She knew that Tess was bound to make the official announcement about their next case and she figured she should be fully caffinated for that moment. Andrew shot her a concerned little look as she entered the room and she knew that he was thinking the same thing. She gave a little shrug and a grin before setting the mug-filled tray down on the table.

For the next few minutes the three of them talked about anything but work. They discussed the different birds in the surrounding forest, and the horses that Andrew and Monica had ridden, and of course Monica had several amusing stories about Lucy. The kitten had chosen to make an appearance and was currently sprawled in front of the fire in a pose much more akin to a dog than a cat. However, as much as they wanted to avoid the inevitable, they couldn’t do so forever, and during a lull in the conversation, Tess put her mug of tea down and picked up Monica’s hand instead.

“I know I’ve already talked to both of you, and you know that our new assignment is starting tomorrow,” she said. “So I wanted to take a minute and let you know a little more about what we’re going to be doing.”

Monica didn’t look very happy about the change in topic, but she took a deep breath, resigned to the fact that sometimes she had to do things she didn’t want to for reasons that she couldn’t understand. Andrew didn’t even look in her direction, instead keeping his eyes trained on Tess’ face.

“You don’t usually tell us exactly what we’re doing ahead of time,” he said.

“I know, but I wanted everyone to have some idea of what’s going to be happening… no surprises,” she said, and Monica knew that the real reason was that Tess wanted to give her some time to adjust to what she was going to be doing. She was grateful, but at the same time she wished that her supervisor didn’t think she had to treat her differently. She wished even more that it wasn’t true.

“Where will we be going?” the little angel asked, trying to make herself feel more excited about the case.

“Not very far from here, actually, but in the city.”

“The city?” Andrew repeated, almost able to feel Monica cringing from across the room.

“Yes, and we’ll be living there too. It seems there’s a young man there who’s been letting himself run off down the wrong path, and Monica’s just the one to set him straight again.” She smiled, hoping that her young charge could sense the confidence she had in her.

“What about you and Andrew?” Monica said, careful to keep the self-doubt out of her voice.

“Well, I know that I’m going to be looking after the young man’s wife, but Andrew’s assignment hasn’t been made clear,” Tess answered.

“But he is coming, isn’t he?” she asked, just a trace of fear causing her voice to crack.

Tess squeezed her hand in reassurance, and answered, “Yes, baby. He’s definitely coming. I know that you aren’t looking forward to this, but you’ll have both of us there with you… and don’t forget that the Father will be there as well.”

Monica let out a sigh of relief as she quickly glanced between her best friend and her supervisor. “I know that He is always with me… but I’m so glad that both of you will be there too.”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that. I’m going to be working right down the street from you and Andrew will find that there is an opening for building manager at the apartment complex where we’ll be staying.”

“And I’ll be working with this man?” Monica asked, wanting to know as much as possible so that she could prepare herself.

“Well, not exactly. You’re going to be working at a bar he likes to spend time in.”

The Irish angel wrinkled her nose but kept her comments to herself. Bars were definitely not her favorite places, with all the smoke and the usually loud people coming and going. Her shoulders slumped a little at the idea of spending long hours working in one, but she put on a smile and tried to concentrate on the man she was being sent to help.

“I’m sure it’s more of a neighborhood type place, right Tess?” Andrew said, seeing his friend’s barely hidden distress.

“Well, mostly, yes. It’s a small place. Not too many people,” Tess replied. She really had very limited knowledge of what the place was like, but she wanted to do her part to boost Monica’s spirits. Inwardly she was shaking her head at the whole idea. She didn’t often question God’s plan, but this was one time she was really struggling with doubt.

“I’m sure it’s a very nice little place,” Monica said brightly, pulling some of her innate enthusiasm from a place deep within her soul, though her voice wavered just a bit. She set her coffee mug back on the tray and stood up. “I’m feeling really tired. I think I’ll just drop these in the kitchen and head up to bed.”

“Okay, you do that, baby,” Tess said warmly. “A good night’s sleep is exactly what you need before starting a new assignment.”

“Yes… I think you’re right,” she said, sounding only partially convinced. “Good night, both of you.”

She gathered up Tess and Andrew’s cups and disappeared into the kitchen, and a minute later they heard her walking up the back staircase to the bedrooms.

“A bar, Tess?” Andrew questioned as soon as he was certain Monica was out of earshot. “Could He think of a worse place to put her?” The tone in Andrew’s unmistakably frustrated.

“Now you just watch your mouth there, Angel Boy,” Tess said, narrowing her eyes. “I can’t say that I agree with her placement either, but in case it slipped your mind, it isn’t our place to make those decisions. I think that we had both better come to terms with how we’re feeling right now… before we let those doubts affect Monica. She needs our support, and if we act like we think this is a mistake, she’s just going to think we don’t trust her and she’s not going to trust herself.

“I know. I know. It’s just hard. Believe me… she’ll get nothing but confidence building words of support from me,” he said with a long sigh.

Tess stood up and patted Andrew’s shoulder as she passed by his chair. “That’s what I want to hear, baby. Now why don’t you go upstairs and say good night to her properly.”

The blond angel looked up into Tess’ understanding eyes and gave her a little grin. “Will do. I’ll see you tomorrow, Tess.”

“Bright and early!”

*****

Monica had just crawled between the sheets when she heard a distinctive knock on her door. “Come in, Andrew,” she called.

“How did you know it was me?” he asked as he stepped into the room.

“Weeks of hearing that knock every time I tried to hide away from you and Paul,” she said with a little grin.

Andrew chuckled as he moved to the bed and sat down. “I guess I was a pretty frequent visit.”

“I was always glad to see you.” She paused for a moment and caught his eye, staring into his face and wondering if he really could read her mind. “I’m so glad that you’re going to be with me on this assignment too.”

“You know I wouldn’t want it any other way, Angel,” he said as he took hold of her hand, “but you have to believe that even if I wasn’t there, you’d be just fine. You’re a wonderful angel, Monica, with the ability to overcome anything. Remember that, okay?”

“I’ll try… but I’m still glad that I’ll have you around to remind me.” Her smile went straight to his heart and he leaned forward to wrap his arms around her.

“Always,” he said before standing up and pulling the covers up to her chest. “Now try to get some sleep… and don’t be afraid to call for me if you need me.”

“Thank you, Andrew,” she said as she yawned and began to shut her eyes.

He stood in the doorway and looked back at her, looking so peaceful. “It’s my pleasure, Monica,” he whispered, and he shut off the light and quietly closed the door.

Though the little angel slept peacefully for a few hours, the fall of night brought with it the usual problems for her as she found herself awakening from a nightmare, just short of screaming. Despite Tess and Andrew’s words to her, she elected to remain silent and to withdraw enough to keep her fear hidden from her best friend. She knew that he had an assignment as well in the morning and he needed to rest in order to be at his best, plus she also knew that with all of them working, there would more than likely be many times he would not be free to be with her. So she sat up in the chair in her bedroom, suffering in silence, determined to wait until the sun rose in the sky to announce the break of dawn.

Every little creak of the house settling unnerved her, as she drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped the comforter snugly around her small frame. Monica kept trying to tell herself that she had nothing to fear, but no matter what tactic she used, her heart refused to believe what her mind was stating. The terror of the last several weeks seemed to have settled deeply within her soul and no amount of wishing was dislodging it and she found herself completely envious of Lucy, who was curled up on the bed, sleeping soundly.

Night gave way to morning, but much to her chagrin, the day was promising to be rainy and dreary judging by the dark, ominous clouds that lingered in the sky that she observed from her window. Knowing that her two friends would not be up for a while yet, Monica headed to the shower, hoping the hot water might take the chill off her bones and some of the fatigue from her face.

When Andrew emerged from the shower two hours later, he was briefly puzzled by the fact that Monica’s bed was neatly made and her room empty, and for a fleeting moment he thought that perhaps she had been excited about the coming day and the aspect of getting back to work, thus causing her to be up so early. But as he entered into the kitchen, where she stood waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, and bid her good morning, he knew his hopes had been dashed.

“Angel, why didn’t you come to me if you were unable to sleep?” He frowned, seeing the dark circles of exhaustion underneath her tired brown eyes.

“I’m fine, Andrew,” She insisted, pouring them each a cup of coffee before handing one to him.

“Monica…”

She lowered her eyes for a moment, as she had been hoping to avoid this confrontation, but she should have known better as there was very little she was ever able to hide from him, “You needed to sleep, so there was no sense in both of us being up all night-.”

“Or maybe had you come to me, we both would have slept through most of it,” He countered, gently leading her to the table so she could sit down. She looked nearly as miserable as the weather outside and he wanted her to at least be able to relax a bit before the assignment began.

“I suppose I didn’t think about that,” She admitted, stirring milk and sugar into her mug slowly, “But Andrew, there could very well be nights on this assignment where you won’t be able to be with me and I need to be able to deal with that.”

He shook his head as he gathered ingredients for blueberry pancakes, deciding that regardless of lack of sleep, at the very least, she would have a decent breakfast to begin this day she was not looking forward to, “But last night was not one of those nights,” He pointed out, shooting a knowing look over to her and she could sense that he was somewhat hurt by her decision to not wake him.

“I’m sorry,” Monica offered softly, her eyes showing her regret that he was upset over her choice, “I’m afraid I haven’t been making the best of decisions of late and even the ones I do make, my heart won’t listen to.”

Not liking the things he was hearing, Andrew laid down the large spoon he was mixing batter with and hurried to her side, kneeling down in front of her, “Angel, I’m not asking you to apologize and I understand what you were thinking. What I want you to understand is that you don’t have to feel that way as I want to help you, no matter what time of day or night it happens to be at the time. I spent half the night worrying about you, but assumed you were sleeping soundly and if you would have just called for me, both of our fears would have been alleviated.”

His heart ached, seeing the tears that were welling up in her eyes and loathing them. She had always been emotional, but this raw fear and pain she was in was not of her character and he desperately wished that his vexation with Douglas McArthur would cease to creep into his heart every time he could so clearly see her hurt emerging, “What did you mean when you said your heart wouldn’t accept your decisions, angel?”

She shrugged her shoulders helplessly before trying to explain, “I kept telling myself last night that there was nothing here that could hurt me, but yet the fear never subsided,” Her expression turned to one of desperation as she shook her head, “This isn’t like me, Andrew…you know this isn’t me!”

“Shhh,” He said softly, reaching for her hands and holding them firmly in his own, even as he wished that today was having a better start. She was a bundle of nerves and her lack of rest was certainly not benefiting her at all, “In its own way, it is you, sweetie, as you try to accept and deal with the things that happened, but eventually it will pass. I promise you that and so does the Father.”

“But what about this assignment, Andrew? The city? A bar? How can I possibly feel safe in these places without you there?” Her voice was nearly pleading, as if somehow he could release her from having to be in these places that God was deeming it necessary for her to be.

“The Father is always with you, angel, always and I promise to be there as often as I can,” He hoped his words in some way helped her to find comfort and strength as he was feeling her despair with every fiber of his being, “Don’t measure this assignment against where you have just been, Monica. This is a clean slate and a new day, regardless of how dark it is outside right now. The light of God is always there, even in the darkest of moments and you know that.”

She nodded her head weakly, as she released one of his hands to wipe at her eyes, “I’ll try to remember, Andrew.”

But as he hugged her tightly for a moment, her eyes rested on the rain falling outside and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t see so much as a glimmer of light anywhere.

Chapter 4

“You’re already moved in, baby,” Tess announced with a smile as she handed Monica a key that dangled from a ring containing a small angel. Though the supervisor had immediately noticed Monica’s exhaustion at breakfast that morning, she had remained quiet about it, figuring that the two younger angels had already discussed it. The little angel had tried diligently to be upbeat in the face of blueberry pancakes, but Tess knew that her charge was fooling neither she nor Andrew.

Monica nodded her head as she stared at the building before her, noting how it wasn’t in the most elegant or peaceful of settings. It looked as if it could stand a good coat of paint and some major landscaping, but she tried to push the negative thoughts aside as she tried to speak above the roaring and steady stream of traffic behind them, “When will I be meeting David?” She inquired, trying to focus on her purpose to being here at all.

“Your shift at O’Reilly’s pub starts tonight at 6:00, Angel Girl and chances are you will meet David there,” Her supervisor explained, though she didn’t miss the anxious look that passed over Monica’s face as she did the math for an eight hour shift, “You’ll be fine, baby.” She added gently, as she gave her charge a quick, but loving hug before releasing her.

The little angel attempted a smile in both Andrew and Tess’ direction, before she forced herself to begin walking to the building. Noting that the number on her key read 302, she assumed it was on the third floor as she found the stairs and slowly ascended them. The stairwell was dimly lit and she found herself climbing the steps faster and emerging onto the third floor with her heart pounding wildly in her chest.

She took a deep breath and let the relief flood through her as she leaned on the end of the banister. “So far, so good,” she said, sarcasm heavy in her voice. She spent a moment wondering if maybe Andrew could put in a stronger light-bulb. She didn’t know how much it would really help, and she had a feeling that she would probably just get very good at running up the stairs.

Thankfully, there was a window at the end of the hall, which made that area less foreboding. She walked towards it, looking at the numbers on the doors she passed. They were brass, and in need of cleaning, just like the rest of the building. The carpet was worn and dingy, and the walls looked like one too many people had banged into them while moving in or out. She reached apartment 302 and let out a sigh as she put the key in the lock and turned the knob.

The door swung open and she stood for a minute, eyes blinking as she took in the room. Everything appeared freshly cleaned and painted. The floor was polished hardwood, and the windows sparkled even in the overcast light. The furniture Tess had spoken of was overstuffed and comfortable, very much like furniture in the little house she had just left.

She was about to walk in and look around but was stopped by the soft feeling of fur wrapping around her ankles. “Lucy!” she exclaimed as she picked the kitten up and cradled her close to her chest. She had already been feeling emotional about the apartment, and this last gift brought the tears to her eyes. “Oh Father, thank you,” she whispered.

*****

The little angel spent the rest of the morning puttering around the little apartment. She unpacked the suitcase she found on the chest at the foot of her bed, arranged all of Lucy’s supplies, and thought about trying out each of the flavored coffees that were prominently arranged in the cupboard. She was trying to keep herself busy enough that she wouldn’t have a chance to think about where she was going to be working. As she moved Lucy’s basket for the third time she actually found herself almost wishing that the place had been a bit more run-down. If it had looked like the rest of the building fixing it up would have kept her occupied for days. Instead, she bent down to inch the basket slightly closer to her bed, looking over when Lucy eyed her questioningly and meowed.

She set the basket down and picked up the kitten instead. “Okay, okay, I get the message,” she said. “I’ll stop moving things and sit down with you for a while. I think I saw some books in the living room.”

The living room was very inviting, especially with the weather outside continuing to look dreary and depressing. However, Monica just didn’t seem to be able to sit still. Sitting still involved thinking and that was the last thing she wanted to do. There was a short bookcase between the two windows in the room, and she pulled out a book at random, giving a little laugh when she saw that it was Swiss Family Robinson. That book seemed to be following her.

She sat down on the sofa and curled her legs up, tucking Lucy in the cozy spot next to her hip. She was surprised when she was actually able to read more than one page, and before long she had finished the first chapter and moved on to the next. Unfortunately her new found peace was short lived.

The crash from below startled her enough that she jumped slightly, causing Lucy to follow suit and leap from the sofa, dashing for the relative safety of the bedroom. Monica didn’t have to strain to hear the yelling that followed the crash.

“Why didn’t you watch where you were going?” the loud voice carried through the floorboards.

“I’m sorry, but I tripped.” Monica assumed that the second voice came from the man’s wife.

“Well I guess we won’t be having dinner now,” the man shouted back.

“Don’t be silly, I can fix something else. Just calm down.” The woman sounded almost surprised at her husband’s outburst, but Monica flinched when she heard the man shouting again.

“Nevermind! I’m going out. Don’t bother waiting up.”

A door slammed but it was long moments before the little angel finally uncurled from her position on the sofa and started to relax. She wanted to go downstairs to talk to the woman. She wondered if maybe she had been sent to help her as well, but her fear held her motionless. She didn’t want to be around if that man came back.

She remained on the sofa long enough for Lucy to venture back into the living room looking for her. The little creature jumped up next to her and head-butted her as forcefully as she could… which of course wasn’t very much. In fact it was just enough to make Monica turn to her with a look of appreciation on her face.

“Are you trying to cheer me up, wee one?” she asked as she scratched Lucy between the ears. “Well you’re doing a fine job of it, but I’m afraid it could take a while.”

Monica was still jumpy and nervous when a knock on the door signaled Andrew’s arrival and she literally raced over to answer it.

“Andrew! I didn’t think I’d see you so soon,” she said.

The other angel was a little taken aback by her excitement, but at least she was smiling, and he wasn’t about to question that.

“Well I got a message that the bulbs in the stairwell needed to be changed to a higher wattage,” he explained with a wink.

“What?”

Andrew simply pointed upwards and watched the relaxed smile appear on Monica’s face.

“So, since I was up here I thought I’d just drop by.” He looked around the living room noticing all the homey touches. “I see that someone has been very busy!”

“Actually, no,” Monica said. “It was like this when I got here,” she continued, “courtesy of the Father.”

“What did I tell you?” Andrew replied. “He’s always watching out for you… right down to making sure your apartment is cockroach free.”

Monica smiled, knowing she had been wrong to ever doubt, “Can you stay for awhile?”

Not missing the twinge of hope present in her voice, Andrew smiled regretfully, “Only a few minutes right now, angel. The phone has been ringing off the hook in the office with things needing tending to. It appears that the gentleman I’m filling in for was a bit of a procrastinator.”

“That much is obvious,” She remarked distastefully, knowing that her own tidy and tastefully furnished apartment seemed out of place compared to what she had seen of the rest of the building, “Has your assignment been made clear to you yet?”

Andrew shook his head, “Not yet, so I plan on using the time until I do know to make things safer around here for everyone.”

Her heart swelled with love for him at his words. She knew that though he meant what he said about making it a safe place for all the tenants, it was also his way of making her feel especially safe for the duration of her stay and though she temporarily lacked the words to express her gratitude, he didn’t miss the look in her eyes.

“And I’ll be starting with getting you a deadbolt for your door,” He informed her, noting how the front door only had a small lock on the knob and how though this might not have bothered her yet, by nightfall, she would be completely aware of it.

“Thank you, Andrew,” The little angel told him sincerely. A part of her knew that God would be looking after her and that the deadbolt wasn’t really necessary, but it was obvious that both she and Andrew knew that in human form, she was going to feel safer with it.

“You’re quite welcome,” He replied softly, moving to kiss her forehead gently, “How are you getting to the pub this evening?”

“I noticed a bus stop right down the street,” Monica explained, knowing that though the pub was only about ten blocks away, she had no desire to walk it in this neighborhood, “so, don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

Seeing how hard she was trying to put her fears aside, Andrew elected to not push any issues; he was going to worry about her regardless of whether she was terrified or perfectly calm like she was at the moment, “As long as you’re sure, I’m going to get going. You know what to do if you need me.”

“You know I do,” She replied, managing to hide her disappointment with his all too soon departure as she felt so much better with him by her side and when he left, she knew that the silence she had once enjoyed had now become her enemy once again.

Relief filled the Irish angel as the bus finally pulled up to the stop where she had been nervously waiting. The only saving grace for her had been the fact that darkness had not yet fallen, as it was dark enough as the rain continued to fall. Dressed in the long green skirt and peasant’s blouse that was the uniform she had discovered hanging in her closet, Monica quickly boarded the bus and deposited the coins needed for her fare.

“How late do the buses run?” She asked the driver before she moved to take a seat.

“Midnight,” He responded gruffly, never so much as glancing at her and not seeing her crestfallen expression.

With a tired sigh, she took a seat close to the window and settled back for the relatively short ride as her mind went over her options for getting home tonight once the bar closed. She supposed she could possibly hail a cab with any money she might earn in tips, though that solution didn’t feel right to her as generally any money she earned on assignment, she made a point of putting into a charity or asking the Father what He would have her do with it. However, nothing about this assignment felt right to her in the first place as she would prefer to be somewhere else; anywhere else, other than here in this city going to work at a bar of all places.

She had tried to catch a nap this afternoon, but no matter what she tried to think about in order to fall asleep, her mind kept going back to the last few weeks as the minutes had ticked by, she began to grow too distraught at the aspect of having to work that evening for sleep to come. Instead she had lay down on the couch and played with Lucy, unable to stifle giggles at the realization that when she would throw the catnip mouse across the room, the little animal would retrieve it for Monica to toss it again. The angel had then taken another moment to thank the Father for His gift of Lucy’s company, as the kitten was such a welcome distraction from all she harbored in her heart.

But there was no trace of a smile as minutes later she stood outside of O’Reilly’s pub, trying to summon her courage to go inside. It was certainly not a large place and she honestly say that it was in better shape than the apartment complex, but she still knew what she would find inside and as she entered the door, she was unfortunately not disappointed.

The air with thick with smoke and loud voices, even at this early hour and the angel supposed that many men probably stopped in for a drink on their way home from work. Most of the interior was made up of wood, with beams crossing the ceiling as well. Though the pub was dimly lit, she could tell that the bar itself was also made of dark wood, as well as the few booths that were scattered near the bar. The backs of each booth were high, complete with places to hang coats or jackets and most of them seemed to already be occupied by working class males, which didn’t strike her as all that ironic as most of the servers and bartenders appeared to be female.

“You must be Monica.”

The little angel turned her head at the voice and forced a smile she didn’t feel, as she faced a young woman with long, curly blond hair and bright blue eyes. Her face was pleasant and her smile did manage to put Monica somewhat at ease, “Hello and yes, I am.”

“Beth,” She replied, smile still in place as she shook the angel’s hand, “Tess called from the unemployment office and said to be expecting you. You came very highly recommended, which is good as we are down one bartender.”

Monica smiled at her supervisor’s ability to instill confidence even when she was not present, “I’ve bartended before,” She offered, knowing that even if that had not been the case, that the Father would have given her the knowledge to do the task at hand.

“Great. Follow me and I’ll give you the low down on how things work. Matthew, the owner, if off tonight, but he is pretty nice and you shouldn’t have any trouble getting along with him,” Beth explained as she led the way to the bar and for the next hour, Monica was engrossed in prices and the register as well as learning what her duties for the night would be.

It seemed simple enough. She would make drinks and help handle the patrons who were sitting at the bar itself, and Monica was actually beginning to feel fairly competent as well as confident that she could indeed do this. The smoke annoyed her somewhat, but she told herself she would get used to it, despite the fact that she seemed to be the only one in the place that lacked the habit, as even Beth seemed to keep one burning at all times while she helped Monica tend bar.

The evening was going relatively well and before she knew it, it was eight thirty and the angel was surprised with how quickly time was passing. She could easily handle doing several tasks at one time, all the while keeping up with Beth’s lively chatter, as well as getting acquainted with the two other waitresses who handled the booths and tables out on the floor. Monica was actually starting to feel that she could enjoy working here, as the patrons were pleasant enough and there was only one man who was making her feel uncomfortable, but Beth had thus far been dealing with him.

He had been drinking heavily, downing one mug of beer after another, his expression bordering on anger and the little angel had been making it a point to steer clear of him. There was something about him that reminded her of that day in the stable with Douglas McArthur, though she was unable to put her finger on exactly what it was. She only knew for certain that she didn’t like the feeling he instilled in her and she hoped that he was not a regular.

The sound of a fist pounding on the bar caused her to jump as a voice bellowed out, “What does it take to get a drink around here?” Whirling around, Monica came face to face with the man of her concern, but what sent shivers down her spine was the fact that she had heard his voice before.

It was the angry voice of the man who lived below her and at the moment, that anger was being directed at her.

Chapter 5

Monica’s panicked eyes searched for Beth, but she could only assume her co-worker had momentarily stepped into the back for bottles to restock the shelves and though she was completely unnerved she knew she needed to take care of him.

“I’m sorry,” She attempted a smile that was not returned, as she took his mug and quickly refilled it for him, before placing it back down in front of him.

“That’s more like it,” He glowered, his eyes piercing her and causing her heart to beat a little bit faster, “You’re new around here, so maybe you and I need to get something straight. See this mug?” He held up the newly filled glass for emphasis, “It stays full as long as I am in this seat, you got that, baby?”

“David, knock it off,” Beth’s voice interrupted before he could berate the little angel any further, “Monica is not your beck and call girl, and your mug could not have been empty for more than 30 seconds, so cut her a break will you?”

“Yeah, yeah... Just make sure she’s a fast learner and we’ll get along fine,” he said, and then dismissed them by turning his attention to the fresh mug of beer Beth had placed in front of him.

Monica seemed rooted to the spot, but Beth led her away to the other end of the bar. “Don’t worry about him, Monica. He’s a good guy… or he used to be. He got laid off a few months ago and he still hasn’t found work. Grumpy, but harmless.” She rushed off to wait on one of the tables, leaving Monica alone with her thoughts.

That was David. That was the man she was supposed to be helping. The thought turned her stomach and tore at her heart. Beth said he was harmless, but that didn’t stop the all too present fear from wrapping itself around her like a shroud. She shook her head and glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He was hunched over his drink, ignoring everyone else in the bar, and she knew that he needed help. The problem was that she didn’t think she was the angel to provide it. She didn’t even want to approach him.

A large group of college age young people came crowding through the door, momentarily distracting the angel, and she was glad for the reprieve. They were all cheerful and joking around, and before long she was at ease again and pushing all thoughts of David to the back of her mind. She knew she needed to deal with him, but there was nothing that said it had to be that night. Tess would see it differently, but fortunately she wasn’t there.

More people entered the bar as a local ball game wrapped up, and the angel rushed back and forth, taking orders and dropping off drinks. The college kids had unofficially adopted her, and they frequently called her over to listen to their stories. She knew that their friendliness was at least partially due to their slightly inebriated state, but she just smiled, happy to be surrounded by people who still held onto the innocence she herself had lost. They were calling to her again, and she quickly dropped off the glasses of wine for the older couple and squeezed past Beth on her way back to them.

“Hey, I thought I told you to keep an eye on this mug!” The hand on her arm was rough and unexpected, and she let out a wordless cry of terror and put her other hand up to her face before she had time to think about it.

“If I were you, I’d let the lady go. Now.” The voice was harsh and stern, and one of the most welcome sounds Monica could ever remember hearing.

She felt the hand drop from her arm as she turned around to face David and her once and always protector.

“Now, why don’t you apologize,” Paul said, only his eyes revealing the depth of emotions at seeing the little angel he had thought he would never meet again.

“Sorry,” David muttered, actually managing to make it sound somewhat sincere.

Monica got a glimpse, in that instant, of the man he had been and the man he was supposed to be. It did nothing to alleviate her fears, but it at least renewed her belief that God had sent her to him with a purpose in mind. However, at the moment she was completely focused on Paul. So much had happened, and so much remained unsaid between them. She wasn’t really sure where to start.

Beth stepped up beside her and placed a cup of coffee in front of David. “I think you’ve had just about enough, Dave,” she told him before turning to Monica. “Why don’t you take a break? I can handle the place for a few minutes.” The young woman had seen the pure panic on Monica’s face, and she knew that David hadn’t caused all of it. Maybe she would find out the whole story eventually, but right now she just wanted to give the woman a minute to gather herself together.

“Thanks, Beth,” Monica agreed gratefully, and slipped out from behind the bar.

Paul was next to her before she even had to look for him, and he led her to a table. He had a thousand questions for her, a hundred things to tell her, but he just sat and stared at her for a long minute, taking in everything about her; from the new color in her cheeks to the old shadows beneath her eyes.

“Paul…” she finally broke the silence. “I never thought…”

“Neither did I,” Paul said with a crooked grin. “After the way you left, I pretty much thought that was the last I’d see of you.”

Monica lowered her eyes as a faint blush rose to her face. “I guess I did leave sort of unexpectedly.”

Paul laughed. “You might say that. Andrew practically had to pick my jaw up off the floor.”

“I’m sorry about that, Paul. I should have stayed. I should have explained everything to you…”

He reached across the table and covered one of her small hands with his own. “Hey… don’t worry about it. I understand. Believe me, I understand. Andrew was great about filling me in on some of the things I had missed.” He caught her eye and one corner of his mouth curled up. “I’ve gotta admit… I still feel kind of guilty about the things I said to you… you know… about you… and me…”

That won him a warm smile as she squeezed his hand. “It was really very flattering,” she said before turning more serious. “I just hated knowing that you were going to end up getting hurt.”

“Yeah, well it’s not every guy who can say he was dumped by an angel… and mean it!”

Monica let out a small laugh, and Paul joined her, so glad just to be in her company again, and to see for himself that she was alright. He could tell by the look in her eyes, and her reaction at the bar, that things were still far from normal for her, but at least she was in one piece, and she was obviously on some sort of assignment, so that had to count for something.

“Thanks, by the way… for what you did over there,” she said, nodding towards the bar.

Her words interrupted his train of thought and he blinked a few times before responding. “Oh, that? Force of habit. Though I’m almost surprised that Andrew didn’t swoop down ahead of me,” he chuckled, thinking of how protective the other angel was.

“I think he probably would have,” Monica said, with a slight twinkle in her eye, “but he’s working somewhere else right now.”

“In that case, I’m extra glad that I was around to lend a hand.”

“What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you would already be off protecting someone else.”

“Nope, not yet. I’ve got a bit of a break coming to me, and I’m trying to tie up some loose ends.” he didn’t want her to know that the ‘loose ends’ were from her case, and he quickly diverted attention away from the topic of work. “Right now I’m just here waiting for someone, but it looks like he’s a little late.”

Monica looked over at the door as another group of people entered, and then looked towards the already crowded bar area. David was still in his seat, and she really didn’t like the idea of going back over there, but there wasn’t much she could do about it. She had a job that needed to be done.

“I should probably get back,” she said.

Paul, who had followed her gaze, was expecting that. “I had a feeling you were going to say that, and I should probably step outside and see if Mike’s waiting for me out there.” He reluctantly let go of her hand and stood up. “But I’ll be around, Monica. You know… if you happen to need another guardian angel…”

“I think I like knowing that,” she said with a smile.

He grinned at her, her words touching him deeply, and she further shocked him as she rose to her feet and impulsively wrapped her arms around him in a hug, before she hurried back to the bar. He watched her go, a multitude of emotions present on his face, all of which she had stirred up in his heart. He knew that his original intentions regarding Monica were never going to happen, but her companionship was something he had come to enjoy and was in no hurry to let go of.

The hours continued to slip by and Monica managed to avoid David at all costs, though her mind was keeping up an argument on the fact that she should approach him. She could think of a million reasons not to talk to him tonight, and only one reason that she should, but that one reason was carrying more weight than all the reasons to stay away combined. Tess.

Things had started to quiet down somewhat when the angel grabbed the coffee pot and hesitantly approached her assignment. She was slightly surprised that he was still there at all, and she wondered if perhaps his aggressive behavior had him banned from all the other bars in the area.

“May I warm that up for you?” She offered as she glanced at him somewhat nervously. Without waiting for an answer, she poured her favorite beverage into his cup.

David glanced up at her, and once again she felt a shiver run down her spine, “I think you’ve done plenty for one night,” He muttered, a quiet anger flowing up through his words at his intended target.

Monica was ready to simply walk away, deciding she had at least tried, but she knew she had made a feeble attempt at best, so she forced herself to stay where she was, “I’m sorry that you feel that way, but you startled me earlier.”

“So you sent your bodyguard over here to protect you,” He countered, his eyes fixated on hers until she finally lowered her own.

Wanting to steer the subject away from Paul, the little angel looked up once more, “Beth said that things had been hard for you lately and I’m sorry to hear that, but maybe drowning your sorrows in a bottomless mug of beer is not the best way to deal with things.”

“I don’t recall asking you to go poking your nose into my business, Irish, so maybe you should just back off before I really lose my temper. I don’t need some do-good waitress telling me how to run my life,” He snapped at her, though he was careful to keep his voice down, “Maybe you need to take a long hard look in the mirror as with one look at you I could tell your life isn’t exactly picture perfect either. You’re just another bleeding heart who is covering her own issues by trying to tell me how to deal with my problems in order to make yourself feel better, but I don’t need that from you or from anybody, so you can just back off!”

Monica’s shock at his words were cut short as he got up from the bar and cleared away his coffee cup with a sweep of his hand before stalking out of the bar. The still relatively hot liquid splattered on her arm and hand as she winced and bit back a small cry of pain.

“Jerk,” Beth muttered, quickly moving to wipe up the spilled coffee before turning her attention to Monica, “Get yourself some ice for that and then get out of here for the night, okay?” Beth could once again clearly see the young woman’s distress and knew that Monica had already had enough for one night, “We’ll be closing in half an hour anyway and things have really died down.”

“It’s all right, Beth, I’ll be fine,” Monica tried to argue shakily, her mind still reeling from the things her assignment had said to her as she wondered how one human had been able to see so much.

“Take me up on the offer while you can, Monica,” Beth smiled reassuringly, really wanting her to get out of here in order to take time to regroup. She like Monica and she had exceptionally well tonight and the last thing she wanted was for her to get overwhelmed and quit already, “Tomorrow is Friday and this place will packed all night. You look beat, so go home and rest up so you are ready to tackle that tomorrow.”

Nodding her head, the angel managed a smile as she grabbed her jacket from the back as well as some ice wrapped up in a plastic baggie and started for the front door. She was dismayed to find it dark and still raining a bit, as she stepped outside and she began to feel panicked at the thought of walking home.

“How far from here are you staying?”

Monica started at the sound of Paul’s voice but then relief washed over her, “About ten blocks from here…”

“Then let me walk you home,” He offered. He had clearly seen her distress over the darkness and he had been in the city enough to know that the buses quit running at midnight and it was well past that time now. He took her umbrella from her and opened it, before handing it back to her to open his own. He then offered her his arm and she took it with a smile of gratitude, “I can just hail a cab from your place as I don’t bother trying to drive around here as it is too much of a hassle to find places to park.”

As they started walking, Monica tried to push away her thoughts about David’s words as she glanced up at the agent, “I know I’m just being silly. I’m probably safer out here than you are, but my heart just won’t accept that fact.”

“I’ve always enjoyed a nice walk in the rain myself, especially when the company is so pleasant,” His voice was warm and he again felt a wave of thanks wash over him at their paths crossing once again.

“Did your friend ever show up?” She inquired curiously. She had lost track of Paul as the night had progressed and she had assumed his meeting had taken place and ended and he had been well on his way.

Shaking his head, he sighed, “No. He must have gotten held up someplace, not that he bothered to call to let me know that tidbit of information.”

“I’m taking it that this was a business meeting?”

“It was, but I’ll call him in the morning and try to reschedule,” He said hurriedly, not wanting her to ask anymore questions about Mike. It was obvious that Monica was still shaken from the things that had happened and he certainly didn’t want to discuss it with her before she was headed to bed, as she looked tired enough, “What happened to your hand?” He asked, noticing the ice she was holding, while precariously managing to hold onto her umbrella at the same time.

She frowned at the question as she decided how to best answer, “I had another little run in with my assignment; the one you saved me from earlier. I elected to offer him a wee bit of advice and he elected to splatter coffee on me.” She attempted a tiny grin, hoping to diffuse the look of anger that crossed her friend’s face.

“He seems like a real charmer. It sounds like you’ve been taken out of the frying pan only to be emerged in the fryer.”

“I’ve wondered that myself,” She admitted with a small sigh as she changed the subject, “Did you keep the other kittens?”

The look of anger vanished and was replaced by a chuckle, “Why, yes, I did, as a matter of fact and they are keeping me very amused. Though I’ve decided I’m only cat sitting until you come to visit them and then if you need me to continue mothering them, I can probably be persuaded.” He smiled, hearing her giggle and it was a sound he had sorely missed, “What I really want to know is how an angel on the move manages to take care of a kitten.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised,” She grinned at him, thinking of Lucy and the way she kept appearing wherever it was she needed to be, “She’s with me now at the apartment. She has been a lovely distraction.”

He took note of her use of the word “distraction”, taking it as one more sign that she was still struggling and he supposed he had expected it, “They tend to do that. Sam’s new favorite place to lie is on whatever work I am attempting to do at the moment.”

Monica giggled, imagining tall, strong Paul stalled by the antics of a tiny kitten.

“I hope I haven’t ruined my image as a tough guy,” Paul said with a grin.

“Oh, no… never.”

They completed the walk in near silence, but they were both glad for the company and almost sad when they arrived at Monica’s building.

“I can walk you up,” Paul offered, but Monica shook her head.

“It’s late. You’d better call that cab or you’ll never get home.”

“You’re probably right. Take care of yourself, Monica. I’ll see you soon.”

“You too, Paul… and thanks again for tonight.”

“Eh, don’t even think about it… that’s what tough guys do… even when they do have kittens to rush home to.”

Monica laughed, and the sound was still hanging in the air as Paul slipped the cell phone out of his pocket and dialed the cab company, all the while keeping an eye on the little angel until she was safely inside the building.

Chapter 6

The new light bulbs in the stairwell definitely made a difference, but nevertheless, Monica was out of breath and trembling by the time she reached the third floor. There was just something about those narrow stairs. She had her key in her hand as she walked down the hall, and she quickly slipped it into the lock and let herself in.

Lucy was meowing at her feet before she had taken a step inside, and when she looked up she saw that Lucy wasn’t the only one who had been waiting for her.

“Hello, baby. I wanted to stop in and just see how things went,” Tess said warmly, patting the sofa cushion and motioning her to sit down.

“Everything went alright,” Monica said, feeling suddenly guarded. For the first time ever, she didn’t want to tell Tess everything that had happened with an assignment. She didn’t know how she could explain herself to Tess when she was looking at her so clearly expecting a glowing report.

“Well, did you meet David?” Tess asked, a little bit puzzled by Monica’s reticence.

“Yes… I met him.”

Tess sighed, exasperation quickly taking over. “Did you talk to him? How did it go?”

Monica looked up, lower lip caught between her teeth. “I tried to talk to him, but I don’t think he was ready to listen.”

“Well, sometimes it takes more than one try to get a person to hear what God has to say,” Tess said. “You tried your best, didn’t you?”

Monica didn’t answer, thinking about her hesitation to even approach David, much less speak to him. She had honestly felt as though she had made a real attempt to get through to him, but looking back on it, she knew she hadn’t done everything she could have. Fear had prevented her from really pushing him to listen to her.

Tess didn’t say anything but she stood up and Monica could feel her looking at her. Sometimes Tess’ silences could be harsher than any words. The older angel was clearly disappointed, and at the moment Monica couldn’t really blame her.

“Monica,” she finally said, her voice stern. “David is your assignment, and you are expected to do everything in your power to make a difference in his life. I don’t have to remind you that God doesn’t give orders lightly. He expects them to be obeyed. So if you didn’t try your best tonight, you had better get it into that head of yours to try more than your best tomorrow.”

Monica hardly had time to say good-bye to Tess before the older angel had disappeared, leaving Lucy circling the place where she had stood. “C’mon, Lucy,” she said, heavy hearted. “We’d better get to bed.”

The little angel went through her normal bed-time routine, with one notable exception. As she was putting away her toothbrush she saw a small jar of ointment in the medicine cabinet, propped up by a roll of gauze. She knew that it hadn’t been there that morning, but she was rarely surprised to find that God had provided for her. The burn to her hand wasn’t very bad, but the ointment would assure that it was better by morning, and she carefully applied it and then covered it with the bandage. As she ran a brush through her hair, the bright white of the gauze caught her eye in the mirror. She was surprised by how upset she was to see it. She had just put it on, but somehow seeing it reflected… seeing herself reflected… it made it much more real. It was a reminder and she didn’t need any of those.

She set the brush down and retreated to the bedroom, eyeing the bed with some trepidation. She was exhausted, but she wondered how much sleep she would actually be able to get. Lucy, meanwhile, was already curled up next to her pillow, and the angel could help smiling as she thought about Paul taking care of all of the other kittens. She slipped into bed and curled herself around Lucy’s little body. “I wish you could teach me your secret,” she whispered.

Unfortunately that didn’t happen, but Monica was determined to make herself sleep. She had made it up those three flights of stairs, and she was going to make it through the night as well. She spent the next fifteen minutes trying to get comfortable, and was only mildly surprised when a warm glow filled the room.

“I thought you’d stop by when you got back,” Andrew said, a trace of hurt in his voice.

“I didn’t want to wake you,” she said as she propped herself up, “and anyway, I think it’s time I started taking care of myself, don’t you?” There was a hard quality to her voice and she refused to meet his eyes.

“Whoa there. Where is that coming from? I thought we already went over all this.”

“She was silent, but she knew he was expecting some kind of response.

“Monica?”

“Tess was here,” she said, not answering his question.

He blinked, allowing a second for his thoughts to catch up to hers. “What did she say? How did things go tonight? Did you meet up with your assignment?” He decided that if she wouldn’t answer the question he wanted the answer to the most, then he would pepper her with others and try to increase his odds of getting at least one answered.

“Yes, I met my assignment,” she said. “That’s what Tess came to talk to me about. She wanted to know how it went.”

“Well? How did it go?” he said expectantly.

“Not very well. I guess I just didn’t have the right words.”

“This was your first time meeting him, Angel. You know as well as I do that it doesn’t always happen right away.” He was a little worried that she still wouldn’t meet his eyes, but he didn’t want to push her.

“He isn’t a good man, Andrew,” she said quietly.

“What? Monica… why would you say that?”

“He just isn’t,” she answered, not wanting to go into everything that she had heard and seen both before and during her time at the bar.

Andrew had a feeling that there was more going on, and he only wished he knew how much of it was really caused by Monica’s assignment, and how much was left over from McArthur. “God doesn’t create bad people,” he said slowly, “and He wouldn’t have sent you if He didn’t think that you could help this man.”

“Are you sure?”

“Sure about what?”

“Are you so sure that God doesn’t create bad people?”

Andrew frowned at the question, knowing she was challenging him to defend his words and this was not something he was accustomed to coming from her. He suddenly felt unsure of himself as he simply didn’t know what was triggering this question, attitude or sudden withdrawal. He thought about avoiding her inquiry altogether, until he knew more of what he was dealing with but that seemed neither right nor fair.

“Yes, Monica, I’m sure,” He stated slowly, trying to gather his thoughts as he proceeded, “Every human being is brought into this world in innocence, with no preconceived concept of evil. It is the world that teaches them right and wrong and free will that gives them the right to chose which path they will follow for their own life. God’s love is in the first breath of every child but within the first year of their life, they begin to learn about choices and about repercussions for their actions. Little by little they began to decide if the action is worth the possible punishment and for some it is. Others are never met with any punishment, so they may feel that they can get away with anything. But in both cases, that knowledge paves the path for their journey in life,” He drew in a deep breath, hoping his answer would satisfy her and put her doubts to rest, at least about this, “So, no, God does not create bad people, the world takes care of it all on its own.”

His reply was greeted with silence and he felt her distress gripping his heart. This whole thing had been more difficult for her than he could ever have imagined and she was struggling with so many issues and once again he felt frustrated at the fact that she was even expected to work so soon.

“Angel, talk to me. What happened tonight with your assignment?”

“I don’t much feel like talking about it,” She stated softly as she lay back down and closed her eyes, trying to shut him out physically as well as emotionally. She had seen the disappointment in Tess’ eyes tonight all too clearly and to tell Andrew about tonight and see that same look in his eyes would be more than she could bear. Besides, she carried enough disappointment for herself in her heart for all three of them.

Andrew’s shoulders sagged as he watched her withdraw and he knew that he would get nothing more out of her tonight. Sighing sadly, he leaned over her bed and tenderly brushed the hair from her cheek before kissing her forehead. Turning around, he thankfully didn’t see the lone tear that made a shiny path down her face.

*****

“You’ve been looking for me, Angel Boy?”

Andrew looked up from where he sat in Monica’s living room half an hour later at the sound of Tess’ voice. He had been in no hurry to leave the sleeping Irish angel and without knowing the specifics of his own assignment, there was no place else he neither needed nor wanted to be at the moment. In all honesty, he was beginning to wonder if his assignment was simply to be here for Monica, and if that were the case, it would suit him just fine, “You talked to Monica earlier?” He questioned, having made the decision that if the little angel was not going to supply him any answers, then maybe her supervisor could.

“Briefly,” She replied, eyeing him sternly, as she had a feeling she was in for a bit of an argument from the protective Angel of Death.

Quickly sensing, Tess’ defensiveness, Andrew decided to shift gears for a moment, as he needed information, not a lecture, “How was she when you saw her, Tess, as things were not all that great when I did?”

Relaxing a little, the older angel sat down on the sofa next to Andrew with a heavy sigh, “She was vague, baby. All she would say was that she didn’t think David had been ready to listen, but what I got was the specific feeling that she hadn’t made much of an effort to get him to listen and that what she gave him certainly wasn’t her best.”

Meeting his eyes squarely with hers, he replied as gently as he could, “Maybe right now, Tess, that is her best.” He was already feeling frustrated once more, already getting the feeling that Tess had voiced what she just had to him to the Irish angel as well.

“Don’t give me that, Mr. Halo,” She replied firmly, “God didn’t make a mistake with assigning Monica to David. Now, she has a job to do and as her supervisor, I need to make sure she does it, to the best of her ability.”

Rising from the sofa, he ran a hand through his hair before turning to face her once more, “That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Tess. Maybe given everything that just happened to her and around her the last few weeks, that this is the best of her ability. McArthur took more from her than I think you realize. She questioned herself constantly during the last few weeks, about everything, even down to my being there for her. Tess, she hasn’t had time to reconcile these things for herself and I still don’t know what he said to her in the barn that day before I got there as she has never offered me any information about it,” His green eyes were pleading with her to understand, knowing that his dearest friend needed them on her side right now and while he knew that in reality Tess was indeed that, he also knew that she didn’t always come across that way, “She doesn’t want to be here, Tess, that much is clear, but she is trying to do what is being asked of her. But it isn’t going to take much to squelch that little bit of confidence she is holding onto right now.”

Tess had listened in silence to everything he had been telling her and she had to admit that there had been things she had not realized. Yet on the other hand, she was caught in the middle. She needed Monica to do well for the Father and for David, regardless of how she was feeling inside, though ignoring how her Angel Girl was feeling wasn’t really an option for her either, “Where is this all coming from, Andrew?”

He was quiet for a moment as he met her gaze, “She’s shutting me out again, Tess, and I don’t know why. She was all right earlier, but after working tonight, I feel like she has taken three steps backwards.”

“I was probably not as supportive as I could have been,” She admitted after a thoughtful silence, “But sometimes Andrew, I figure you are giving her the support she needs and that what she needs from me is guidance on how to get the job done.”

“And there are many times when she doesn’t need either of those things, Tess,” He reminded her softly.

“I know that,” she said, trying to keep all defensiveness from her voice. “I guess sometimes it’s hard for an old angel to change her wings. I can’t stop pushing her, Andrew. I don’t want to see her hurting any more than you do, but God didn’t send her here without a purpose. You’re right. Maybe she isn’t ready… but maybe this assignment will push her towards healing.”

“And maybe it will just push her further away from all of us.”

Tess sighed but she didn’t say anything to contradict the angel of death. She peeked around the corner into Monica’s bedroom and watched the younger angel sleeping, one arm curved over Lucy’s tiny body. “Tomorrow will be better, Andrew.”

“I hope for all our sakes that you’re right.”

Chapter 7

Tess only stayed for a few more minutes, giving Andrew what little information she had gathered from Monica, and what she knew of David herself. The picture she painted in no way reassured the blond angel that this was the right assignment to get Monica back on her feet. He kept himself from saying any more about it though, knowing that Tess would only argue with him. The facts were the facts. They had been given a job to do and they had no choice but to do it.

After she bid him goodnight he briefly considered going to his own little apartment on the first floor. Monica had rather plainly stated that she thought she needed to start doing things without him, but despite her words he had a difficult time convincing himself that she really wanted him to leave. He sprawled on the sofa and let out a disgusted sigh; he wasn’t kidding himself. He wasn’t staying because he didn’t believe her, he was staying because he wanted to keep her close. He wanted to shield her from everything that could possibly hurt her. Swiping a hand across his tired eyes, he tried to force his restless mind from spinning.

As much as he wanted to deny it, he was trapped in the past almost as much as she was. Not a day went by that he didn’t close his eyes and see her pale face, gun to the temple, McArthur sneering at them both. He didn’t want to think about what would have happened if Paul hadn’t shown up. Would he have really killed the man? Could he have done it? He knew in his heart that he had wanted to, and that knowledge was extremely hard to live with.

He was pulled from his thoughts by a thump and a small cry from the other room. It only took him seconds to rush into the bedroom and turn on the light. Monica was on the floor, tangled in the sheets, while Lucy stood on the bed, looking down at her and blinking her large green eyes.

“Monica, what happened?” He knelt beside her and pulled the fabric away.

“You’re still here?” Her voice held surprise along with gratitude.

“I couldn’t drag myself away,” he joked. “What can I say… I got pretty used to having you sleep in the next room. Did you have another nightmare?”

She shook her head, slightly confused. “I must have. I don’t really remember. I just remember waking up and feeling like I needed to get away. I couldn’t move… I guess I panicked,” she said sheepishly.

“Well let’s get you back in bed. You’re going to need your sleep to keep working those late hours at the bar.”

It was an invitation for her to comment on the situation, to tell him what had happened, but she lowered her eyes and didn’t say anything. Andrew let his own head drop and stood up, moving to straighten out the sheets and pick her pillow off the floor.

“All set,” he said, reaching down to help her to her feet. He took hold of her hands and then immediately dropped the one that was wrapped in gauze. “What happened here?” he asked, his eyes searching her face.

He was still holding her other hand and she pulled herself up and then sat down on the bed and swung her legs under the covers. “Just an accident,” she muttered.

“An accident?” He looked at her doubtfully as he sat down at the edge of the bed. “Monica, you always tell me if you’re hurt. Now how did this happen? Something at the bar?”

“It was just some spilled coffee. It splashed on my hand. It’ll be fine by tomorrow.”

Andrew stared at the hand and then reached over to stroke Monica’s cheek. “Angel, what aren’t you telling me? Why are you shutting me out? Don’t you trust me?” He knew that trust wasn’t the issue, but he also knew that mentioning it was a sure way to get her to deny it and hopefully tell him the whole story.

“Of course I trust you!” she said, just has he had known she would. “It just… it shouldn’t have happened.”

“Why? You said it was just an accident… sometimes those things just happen.”

“It was David… my assignment.”

Andrew’s eyes narrowed. “What? What did he do?”

“He didn’t mean to do it… not really. I was trying to talk to him, Andrew. I really was. But he wouldn’t listen to me. He…” she didn’t want to tell him what the man had said. “He got angry and pushed away his cup as he left. He was still angry about Paul.”

“Paul?” Andrew was now thoroughly confused. “Paul was there?”

Monica’s eyes took on a bit more life as she replied. “He was there waiting for someone and he saw David grab me. He didn’t know it was me, but he made David back off.”

Andrew was still trying to catch up with everything she was saying. David had grabbed her. Paul had stopped him. David wouldn’t listen to her. He was finally beginning to piece together everything that had happened during her first night of work, and it wasn’t making him feel any better about her assignment.

“Did you get to talk to Paul?” he asked, making an attempt to keep the conversation moving and his own feelings in check. He was extremely grateful that the agent had been around. For some reason he had a feeling that Paul had been more tactful with David then he would have been. The idea of anyone so much as laying a finger on Monica was enough to bring all of his anger to the surface.

“We talked,” Monica said. “I was so glad to see him. I still felt badly about the way I left,” she admitted.

“I told you that he understood,” Andrew reassured her.

“Yes, but it was just nice to see him and be able to be completely honest with him.”

Andrew nodded. For an angel of truth to have held onto such an enormous secret for so long had been one of the hardest parts of their last assignment. He pulled the sheets up and scooted closer to her on the bed, picking up her hand and squeezing it gently.

“Why didn’t you tell me all of this before? Why didn’t you tell Tess?” he asked. “No wonder you had a nightmare with all of this on your mind.”

She shrugged and said nothing for a moment. “I don’t know why. I just… you both know that I don’t want to be here… I guess I thought you might think that things went badly because I wasn’t trying,” she said very slowly, struggling with each word.

“Monica, you can’t possibly believe that. I would never think that. I know how hard this is for you, and I know how hard you’re trying.”

“Tess…”

“You know how Tess can be, Angel. She can be gruff and stern, but she loves you too, more than just about anything. She’s just trying to help you,” Andrew said quickly, not surprised that his suspicions about their conversation were correct. “Did you even tell her everything that happened?”

She shook her head.

“Well I have a feeling that if you had, she might not have been quite so ‘Tess-like’”, he said with a little grin. “In fact, I have a feeling she would have been marching down to the bar to try to get David’s address so she could pay him a little visit.”

She finally smiled, eyes brightening just a fraction although he could still see the weariness in them. “I can almost picture that.”

“I thought you might be able to,” he chuckled before scanning her face again, wishing that one smile could erase the weeks of worry from her face. “Do you think you can sleep now?” He paused for just a moment. “Do you want me to stay in here with you?”

Monica didn’t reply right away, but then she remembered all the times he had told her that their need for each other was mutual. She knew that she would sleep much more soundly in his arms, and she was ready to believe that the same held true for him. “Yes… to both… if you don’t mind.”

He felt the smile spread across his own face. “Not at all.”

She waited until he had situated himself in beside her before she moved into his arms and felt them enclose her. She sighed softly, fully aware of the fact that she felt safe no place else on this earth other than where she was right now and yet she had tried to jeopardize that safety by shutting him out. She wanted to be able to be strong without him, but she was also beginning to accept the fact that right now she just wasn’t.

The older angel stroked her hair tenderly, thinking she had already drifted off to sleep when her soft voice told him otherwise.

“Andrew?”

“What is it, Angel?” He asked quietly.

She was silent for a moment, almost making him wonder if she had changed her mind about voicing whatever it was that she was thinking

“Are you disappointed in me?” The question was spoken softly and was filled with trepidation and he felt his heart lurch that she had even felt the need to ask.

“Never,” Andrew replied firmly, tightening his hold on her little body as with the single word, he felt some of the tension leave her, “You could never disappointment me, baby. Why would you even ask such a question?”

“Because I could have tried harder tonight with David, because I’m still so afraid, because I tried to shut you out despite how much I need you,” Her words were filled with such regret, as she thought of one more, “And because I was so relieved to see Paul at that moment, even though I am an angel and he isn’t. Paul was the one possibly putting himself in harm’s way for me tonight…”

“Something tells me, Monica, that whenever Paul is around, I will forever have competition in looking out for you, regardless of that fact that he knows who and what you are. Not only is it in his nature to protect, but you touched his life in those weeks we spent with him and I know first hand what that can do to someone, angel or otherwise,” He smiled, knowing it was true of both he and Paul; if either of them could avoid harm coming to Monica, they would do all they could, “As for the other things you mentioned, I know you are doing the best that you can right now and I know how hard it is for you. I also think that God understands as well as He knows your heart even better than I do. But with that being said, I must admit that I don’t enjoy you closing yourself off to me as there are times I think I need to know how you are feeling more than you need for me to know.”

“I was afraid of letting you down.”

“That could never happen, Angel, so don’t even think that way, all right?” He felt her nod her head as she snuggled closer, “Now get some sleep. I’m here, the Father is here and you are safe.”

“I love you both,” Monica whispered just as her eyes slid shut, knowing she was safe in her cocoon though her last waking thought was why would butterflies would ever want to emerge into a world that was tainted with evil.

*****

The agent walked purposefully down the hallway within FBI headquarters early the following morning. Things seemed more than slightly quiet and the sound of his sneakers on the tiled flood echoed all around him as he walked. Paul knew that within an hour, the halls would be buzzing with employees as shifts would change and for several minutes, the building would be at full capacity. But for now, it was quiet, and he knew that his friend and colleague treasured the early morning silence to catch up on paperwork.

Paul was still annoyed with Mike for not showing up last night and after running into Monica, the agent was more determined than ever to get to the bottom of what had gone so horribly wrong on her case. He had seen the fear flash across her face when her assignment had grabbed hold of her, and had not missed the anxious look she wore as she had contemplated walking home and these were reminders that much of her residual fear could have been avoided if things had gone as they should have. McArthur never should have found her one time, yet alone three times.

Approaching Mike’s office, Paul was all set to knock when the door swung open and his long time friend nearly collided with him.

“Paul!” Mike grinned, clasping his friend’s shoulder warmly, “It’s great to see you, buddy!”

Unable to help but smile, the agent nodded his head, “It’s good to see you too, Mike, though I was expecting to see you a bit sooner. Last night at O’Reilly’s perhaps?”

“I know, Gatlin, I know,” He held up his hand in defense, “Something came up; a break in a case and I didn’t even have time to call you. I wasn’t even sure of where you were staying…”

“You have my cell number, Mike. Even if you had called after the fact, that would have been fine…”

“Actually, I had a note to call you today, though now I can disregard it,” He grinned, clearly unconcerned with the meeting that had not taken place last night, “Listen buddy, can we chat later? I have a 7:30 that I really need to get to.”

“That’s why I’m here, Mike,” Paul persisted, as Mike indicated for him to walk along and he fell in step beside of his friend, “When are you free?”

Mike paged through the legal pad he was carrying, his eyes scanning his schedule for the day, “I’m pretty booked all day…”

“Tonight then.” He interrupted firmly. Difficulty pinning down a time with Mike was par for the course, but he was not going to be put off this time.

Paul watched as his friend made a note on the legal pad and nodded his head, “Still want to shoot for O’Reilly’s?” Mike asked hurriedly.

“That would be fine,” The agent replied, actually feeling very pleased with the arrangements. Despite someone’s angelic status, her assignment seemed like trouble and he was quite content to be at hand if she needed some help, “What time works for you? I’m on vacation so I’m game for anything.”

“How about ten? That gives me time to wrap up any loose ends that may need tending to,” Mike stopped walking at the conference room and gripped Paul’s arm, “Sorry about last night. The first round or two is on me tonight.”

“You have yourself a deal,” He grinned, knowing that though Mike was more of a drinker than he was, a cold draft on a Friday night would even hit the spot for him, “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Later, Paul,” Mike called after him, before he shook his head thoughtfully and walked through the conference room door.

*****

Andrew had been up and had already taken care of a few phone calls from tenants needing things fixed, by the time the Irish angel awoke late the following morning. She felt groggy and she was greeted by the smell of stale smoke, which she surmised had to be coming from her hair and she knew that a shower was the first order of business.

Climbing out of bed, a smirk crossed her face as she considered the fact that at least this time, she had gotten out of bed more gracefully than last night. Grabbing her robe, she was just headed to the bathroom, when the sound of voices from downstairs caused her to come to an abrupt halt.

“I’m warning you, Kristin, leave me alone!” The voice was unmistakably David’s and Monica assumed Kristin had to be his unfortunate wife as she felt her heartbeat quicken at the anger in her assignment’s voice.

“You’re never going to find work if you stay in that bar till all hours of the morning, Dave,” Her voice was pleading and laced with tears and the little angel felt her heart clench.

“No, I’m never going to find work with you constantly nagging me!”

“I don’t want to nag... I don’t… but you’re starting to worry me! You could have been dead in a ditch last night for all I knew. It didn’t used to be like this. Please! Talk to me.”

“I’m not in the mood for talking, and I’m definitely not in the mood to hear your whining. Now get outta my way.”

“No!” Kristin’s voice took on a firmer tone. “You’re not leaving until we talk!”

“I said, get out of my way!”

Monica was terrified, and nearly frozen in place, but she heard a slight change in David’s voice that scared her even more. She didn’t want to hear what was going to happen next. She couldn’t let it happen. She ran back into her bedroom, snatched the lamp from the dresser and smashed it to the floor. Then she ran back into the hall and slammed first the bedroom door and then the bathroom door. She paused to listen, her heart pounding, breath coming in short gasps. She was praying that the racket she had made had been enough to make her two neighbors stop fighting long enough for the situation to defuse.

“Hear that, Kris? Sounds like someone has even bigger problems than us. Why don’t you go and try to solve them?” David’s sarcastic words were followed by a slamming door, and the angel let out a sigh of relief as she sank to the floor and sat there, knees pulled tightly to her chest.

Her relief was soon followed by sorrow, however, as she picked up the very faint sounds of Kristin sobbing. For a moment the angel thought that she could only imagine how badly Kristin felt, but then she realized that she knew almost exactly how she felt… scared and betrayed. Why was she assigned to David? It was obvious to her that he was just one more evil person in the world, and there wasn’t anything she was going to be able to do to change him. His wife, on the other hand, was someone she still had a chance to help.

She glanced down the hall at the clock in the living room. Eleven o’clock. She had plenty of time. Maybe she hadn’t been assigned to Kristin, but there was nothing that said she couldn’t do a little freelance work on the side.

Chapter 8

Half an hour later the Irish angel stood in front of apartment 203. She was freshly showered, nicely dressed, and feeling for the first time like she might be able to do something positive for a change instead of just watching things unfold around her. She raised her hand and knocked, then stood back, waiting for the door to open.

“Yes?” Kristin’s tentative sounding voice came through the door. “Who is it?”

“My name is Monica. I’m a new neighbor.”

The door opened and the little angel got her first look at the woman she knew only by name and voice. She was tall, and her light blonde hair was pulled back into a slightly messy ponytail, but the most noticeable thing about her was her stomach. She was at least seven months pregnant. Monica felt a little chill run through her at the thought of what might have happened earlier.

“Hello, Monica. My name’s Kristin. I just moved here myself. Well, my husband and I did… about a month ago.” The woman still seemed a little reserved, but there was a natural friendliness that even bad circumstances hadn’t been able to completely overcome. “Would you like to come in? I just made a fresh pot of coffee and my husband had to run out,” she said, dropping her eyes at the mention of David.

“I’d love to,” Monica said, eyes twinkling at the mere mention of coffee. “Are you sure I’m not interrupting anything?”

“No… nothing.”

Monica walked into the apartment and was struck by the difference between it and her own. The paint was peeling, the floors were badly scuffed, and a narrow crack ran the length of the ceiling.

“Don’t mind the boxes,” Kristin said as she led the way to the kitchen. “I just haven’t had the energy to unpack everything… or the space for that matter.”

There were boxes piled along one wall, but the really striking thing was the fact that the living room looked like a furniture showroom. There were two sofas and numerous chairs all cramped together. A dining table and chairs were sandwiched behind one of the sofas and pressed against the wall, completely unusable. There was even a bookcase, lying on its back on top of the table.

Kristin looked apologetic as she saw Monica’s quick but curious look. “We had to leave our house,” she said. “My husband… David… he got laid off about six months ago. Just a month after we found out I was pregnant.”

“I’m sorry,” Monica said sincerely, as she took the cup Kristin offered and sat down at the kitchen table. “I’m sure it’s been very hard for you.”

Kristin nodded, not exactly sure why she felt so instantly at ease with this little Irish woman. “Yeah… it hasn’t been easy, that’s for sure. It’s been harder for David though. He always dreamed of having a big family. Now we don’t know how we’re going to manage with one baby.”

Monica’s hands gripped her cup tighter when she heard David’s name mentioned. She was startled by how Kristin sympathized for him. From what she had seen and heard, he didn’t deserve it.

“What about your family?” she asked, hoping to find someone she could convince Kristin to go to.

“David’s really all the family I have. My parents divorced when I was just a kid. I ended up never seeing my dad again, and my mom… well, she isn’t really in the best situation herself. Anyway, I’m sure David will get something soon. It just takes time, that’s all.”

Monica ached to say something else. She wanted to tell her that she had heard them arguing, and she wanted to make her see that she was just putting herself in danger by staying with such a horrible man. The hopeful look in Kristin’s eyes was the only thing that stopped her. She remembered having that kind of hope and she didn’t want to be the one to steal it away from someone else. She would just have to keep a very close eye on things and make sure that David didn’t get a chance to do anything more than yell.

“So, what brought you to this fine neighborhood, anyway?” Kristin joked.

“Oh… I… I have a job not far from here,” Monica answered, jolted from her planning. “At O’Reilly’s”

“Really?” her tone had a bit of forced cheerfulness behind it. “David goes there sometimes. Maybe you’ll meet up with him there.”

Choosing to not remark on the fact that they had already met, Monica allowed her eyes to wander around the room once more, “Kristin, I have a few hours before I need to get ready for work and I would gladly help you with unpacking some of these boxes….if you don’t think your husband will mind,” she added quickly, fishing for whether or not Kristin thought David would be returning anytime soon.

“I’m sure I won’t even see David until much later,” She remarked, not wanting to say that what she really meant was he would be back once the bars closed, “But I couldn’t ask that of you, Monica.”

“You’re not asking,” The little angel corrected her firmly, “I’m offering and there is a difference,” She smiled at the human and was relieved when the gesture was returned.

“It would be nice to have some semblance of order around here, but I don’t know how much help I can be. With this baby, I’m not quite as agile as I used to be.”

“Not to worry,” Monica assured her with a little pat to her hand, “You just tell me where you want things and I’ll take care of the rest.”

The project came as a great relief to the angel as for the next five hours, she worked diligently alongside of her assignment’s wife, finding places for knickknacks, breaking down boxes to take to the dumpster and even managing to arrange some of the furniture so it looked more presentable. Though the apartment was still crowded, it at least appeared orderly and tidy and Monica was already considering hitting Andrew up for some paint to clean up the walls.

Though she felt tired, it was a good tired and the first for her in quite awhile. Focusing on doing something for someone else had allowed her to feel temporarily rejuvenated, even if Kristin was not the one she was supposed to be helping, though she refused to think about that at the moment. She would see David soon enough.

“Monica, I don’t know how to thank you,” Kristin was absolutely beaming over the work they had done and how much more presentable things looked.

“I enjoyed myself, to be honest,” She admitted truthfully with a little smile, which faded slightly as she realized something. With a baby due in two months, there wasn’t so much as a crib present in the apartment, yet alone smaller accessories such as bottles or diapers and Monica found herself trying to think of a way to get Kristin to accept the tips she would earn in the bar as she certainly didn’t need them. Of course, then there was always the possibility that David would take the money and use it to buy drinks, so she decided that the better plan would be to buy the baby supplies for the young woman instead, “Unfortunately, I need to head to my apartment to get ready for work.”

“I suppose you do,” Kristin sighed, her disappointment written clearly on her face, having not realized how lonely she had been lately until spending the afternoon with her energetic neighbor.

Seeing the human’s expression, Monica smiled, “Listen, if you ever want some company, I’m upstairs in 302. I’m home in the mornings and afternoons, so please don’t hesitate to come by as I’d enjoy the company as well.”

Her smile back in place, Kristin nodded her head, “You may just have a deal on that one, Monica.”

As the angel bid her good-bye and closed the door behind her, Kristin gazed around the room once more. For the first time in so long, she felt a glimmer of hope in her heart that things could possibly turn around for she and David regardless of if that hope had been brought about simply because of a tidy apartment and a new friend.

*****

“Angel, where have you been?”

Andrew’s voice more than startling her, Monica whirled around as her heart pounded in her chest, “Don’t do that!” But she immediately lowered her eyes and her voice regretfully, “You scared me half to death.”

“I’m sorry, Angel Girl,” He approached her, his sincere apology present in his features as he saw her struggling to calm, “I’ve got to start remembering to not sneak up on you like that.”

“Yes, you do,” She replied, a grin on her face.

“I’ve been waiting for hours for you to get back. You had me worried, angel. Where did you go?”

She hesitated. While she didn’t want to keep anything from him, she also didn’t know how the news of her assisting Tess’ assignment was going to go over and she wasn’t sure she could justify that a clean apartment was going to bring David around to seeing the truth, “I just went out for a bit.”

He frowned, knowing there was more to the situation than that, but he knew better than to push her and that she would tell him when she was ready.

“I’m sorry to have worried you. I guess that old habits are dying hard for both of us,” Monica decided, emitting a small sigh.

“And I think you know that my worrying about you has nothing to do with the past few weeks,” He raised an eyebrow as his lips twitched in a smile and he was relieved when she laughed, “As it isn’t raining today, how about I walk you to work? I’d enjoy the fresh air after being inside all day.”

While she knew that his wanting to walk her to work had little to do with fresh air and everything to do with making her feel safe, she was grateful just the same, “I’d like that. Just let me get ready and we can go.”

Twenty minutes later she was dressed in her work attire, nimble fingers entwining her hair into a french braid to keep it out of her way tonight as well as to hopefully cut down on the smoky smell she would bring back to the apartment in the wee hours of the morning. It was only then that she felt the knot of nervousness and fear return to her stomach at the aspect of being near David once again.

She felt certain after this morning that it would take little for his short temper to turn to violence and she was struggling with what to do if that happened. She had no desire to approach him again, but was trying to resign herself to the fact that she needed to, regardless of how much she disliked him. Fact was, she had already written him off, certain she would be unable to change him anymore than she would have been able to change Douglas McArthur if she had been given the chance.

*****

The walk to the bar was filled with chatter but it was mostly one sided. Monica kept silent about how she had spent the day, but she was eager to hear everything about what Andrew had done. She wanted to know about all the people in the building, and any time the conversation seemed to be drifting in her direction she was quick to blow it back to him. The walk went quickly, and she looked up to see the sun setting behind the tall buildings and saw that they were on the same block as the bar.

“So, you get out at two, right?” Andrew hinted as the bar appeared in sight. When Monica said nothing, he continued on, saying, “Do you want me to wait for you outside?” He held his breath waiting to see if she would try to discourage him from coming.

“No, why don’t you come in… they don’t really lock the doors until two-thirty.” She could tell that he hadn’t been expecting that response, but truthfully she had not been looking forward to walking home alone. Having him there would make them both feel better.

“Okay,” he said, doing a good job of keeping the surprise from his tone. “Maybe I’ll even come a little bit early. All work and no play make me a dull angel,” he joked.

Monica rolled her eyes, but she also smiled. “All right… then I guess I’ll see you later.”

They were in front of the bar and she cast a slightly worried glance towards the heavy wooden door. She blinked and smiled again, hoping that Andrew hadn’t seen. “Good luck, Monica. Everything will be fine… you’ll see.” He smiled and gave her a quick hug.

She pulled away and moved to the door, giving him a little grin and a wave as she entered and disappeared from view. Andrew waited until she was inside before he turned away and let the smile slip from his face. He wanted his words to her to be the truth, and he was going to do everything he could to make sure that they were. He was also going to make certain that there were no more “accidents” involving David.

****

Monica was relieved to see that David was not at his place at the bar, and she quickly made her way over to Beth, her heart much lighter in her chest. “It doesn’t look too bad so far.”

“Famous last words… trust me, it’ll be a mad house by nine. There’s always a big crowd when Killian’s Rose plays.” Beth nodded to the corner where a group of four musicians were beginning to set up. “They’re a big draw around here… although, any excuse to have a drink’ll get some people out,” she continued with a wink.

Monica remembered seeing a flyer posted to the door, but she hadn’t noticed the date. She hoped that perhaps all the extra people would keep David from coming. She knew it was horrible to feel that way, but she needed more time. She still felt so unprepared and she feared that anything she said would only get him even more aggravated with her.

As first one hour passed, and then another, with no sign of her assignment, it looked as though Monica’s wish was coming true. The band had started playing and the bar was filled with the sound of traditional and not-so-traditional Irish music. The little angel found herself practically skipping as she moved from one customer to another, laughing with them, and really enjoying herself. The dim lights and the thin haze of smoke combined with the music and people to turn the bar into something else entirely. It was a snapshot of life and humanity that dated back to her first days on earth.

So little of what really mattered had changed. People were the same, still going through the same troubles and sharing the same laughter. Music still tied them all together, weaving around and over them, inextricably linked to the very rhythm of life. The angel had just delivered another round of drinks to the musicians, and she spun around to head back to the bar. A sharp twinge passed through her as she watched the door open and her assignment enter. That was when she remembered that something had changed, and that something was her.

Somehow, David managed to nab his usual seat, despite the crowd of people, and as soon as Monica stepped behind the bar, he called out to her. “Hey! I’m ready for my drink down here.”

She could tell that he had obviously been drinking already, but she poured him a glass of beer and slid it across the bar to him. “How about a little food?” she asked, pulling out one of the small menus. Maybe if he had something in his stomach besides alcohol, he’d be easier to deal with.

“I’ll let you know if I need something,” he said gruffly, and she quickly retreated, scanning the crowd for someone else to serve.

“Over here, Miss Wings. I wouldn’t mind a nice tall glass of iced tea.” Tess’ voice carried to her from the other end of the bar.

“Tess! What are you doing here?” she asked as she passed her the drink. She looked at her a little warily, wondering if Tess was going to push her into confronting David.

“To be honest, I needed a bit of a break myself,” the older angel said with a sigh. “I worked at that unemployment office all day long, and the one person I was expecting to see never showed up.”

“Your assignment,” Monica said, nervously wiping the counter and avoiding eye contact.

“That’s right. I don’t suppose you know what happened to her?” Tess’ was asking a question, but her tone of voice said that she already knew the answer, and that Monica’s had better match.

“Well, I’m not sure where she was in the morning,” she said slowly, and then withered under Tess’ stern glare. “I kind of spent the afternoon with her,” she admitted. “But her apartment was really disorganized. She needed the help, and I think she feels much better now,” she said in a rush, trying to end on a high note.

Unfortunately, Tess did not look convinced that cleanliness was next to Godliness.

“I think maybe we need to go over the assignments again, Angel Girl,” she said lowly. “Kristin is mine, and see that man at the end of the bar? He is yours.”

Monica lowered her eyes and had the good sense to look appropriately chastened. “I know, Tess.”

“Good. Then I’m sure it won’t happen again.” Tess reached across and gave Monica’s hand a little pat.

The gesture hadn’t been necessary, and under ordinary circumstances, Tess wouldn’t have softened a lecture by ending with such a show of affection. Monica looked up and saw a small twinkle in the older angel’s eye.

“Looks like you’re plenty busy, there. You’d better get back to the rest of your customers.”

The Irish angel gave her a grateful smile and turned on her heel to answer a call from the other side of the bar.

*****

“Glad you could finally make it tonight,” Paul joked as he slipped into a small booth across from his friend.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m sorry I’ve been so busy. You know how it gets,” Mike replied.

“Yep. I know.” He was talking to Mike, but his eyes quickly searched the bar and saw Monica rushing back and forth. He smiled inwardly. He would have to make sure he got a chance to say hello.

“Let me get the first round, and then you can tell me what’s on your mind,” Mike said, not noticing that Paul was momentarily distracted. He quickly made his way to the bar, and returned carrying two foamy glasses of dark Guinness. “Nothing but the best,” he said as he placed them on the table. “Now, what has you so worked up lately?” He knew exactly what had Paul upset, but he was still hoping to dissuade him. Despite everything, he still considered the younger agent a friend. He didn’t want to have to deal with any unfortunate circumstances.

Paul was a little disarmed by the other agent’s cavalier attitude, but he knew the man well enough to know that sometimes he hid seriousness behind joviality.

“Well I don’t think I need to remind you how my last case ended,” he stated. “Three times, Mike. The bastard found us three times.”

“I know… it was an unfortunate…” One last effort to steer Paul onto the ‘it was all a coincidence’ track.

“It wasn’t unfortunate, Mike,” Paul insisted. “There is no way he could have found us without help from the inside.”

“That’s what you keep telling me, but do you really believe someone we work with is dirty?” The man was good at playing poker, and at the moment he felt like he was in the biggest game of his life.

“I don’t want to believe it, but I did some looking. In the last year alone, twelve of our witnesses ended up dead… witnesses that were so well hidden away their own mothers didn’t know where they were,” Paul’s face was serious. “You can’t tell me that we’re that unlucky.”

“No… no… you’re right…” Mike was cursing at the back of his mind. “It definitely warrants some looking into. Have you told anyone else?” Please say no.

Paul took a long drink. “No… just you. I don’t know who else I can really trust.”

“Yeah… I guess that’s the real problem.”